jay: (Default)
I'm not enamored with the split subscribe-access approach on DW... to me, this form of communication feels like a conversation between myself and those on my [friends, access, subscribe]-list. Which is inherently a dialogue. If one side or the other isn't listening, or not allowed to speak, that impairs the flow of data and ideas and leads to an imbalance between the individuals.

So if someone subscribes, but doesn't grant me access to their journal, it sounds to me like "I don't trust you enough to let you know much about my life or thoughts." Conversely, someone who grants access to me to read their journal, but doesn't subscribe to mine, seems to be saying "You aren't interesting enough to me to be worth my time reading, but I don't care if you look at my journal."

Neither of these, to me, are pleasant. Tolerable, for moderate periods of time. But I may at some point ask for either mutual communication or none, so an advantage of LJ over Dreamwidth for me is that is more or less enforces that symmetry in communications as its default, making life easier and less stressful for me. Better than periodically purging unbalanced access-subscription-paired users, with the potential there for hurt feelings.
jay: (Default)
It's rainy and cool and overcast here today... my household is going over to the British Bankers Club hangout in Menlo Park from 3-6pm this afternoon to chat, drink cider, and maybe get beaten by Pat in online trivia. Anyone local is invited to drop by at your leisure... :)
jay: (Default)
Even as you're being put under anesthesia, a block away, as I'm sitting here in the Stanford Hospital cafeteria on a public terminal. Hope the diagnostic procedure goes well... it scrapes that the only slot they'd give you was on your birthday, and it took 2 months to get *that*. Who says that there isn't health care rationing in the US? Heh.

Still... much love, and I'm honored to be here for you today, dear.
jay: (kids)
To those who observe it, happy Easter. :)

Today may very well be the last Easter that all five of us ([profile] patgreene and I and James, David, and Kevin) celebrate together in-person... next year, James will likely be away at college somewhere back East. That didn't stop us from hiding candy in crevices and spots all around the living and dining rooms (with [personal profile] cyan_blue's ecumenical assistance, last night :) and the three boys hunting them with their baskets, this morning. Our church has a chicken-wire and foam cross set up outside the front door on Easter morning, and parishioners are encouraged to bring flowers to insert to fill it with blossoms as the day progresses. I cut some roses and purple irises from my yard, plus I brought a blossom from our salvia divinorum. ;-)

After church, we went out for brunch, and I'll cook a ham for tonight's dinner.
jay: (skating)
For the past seven years, one of the social events that [profile] patgreene and I have hosted has been an annual ice skating party, typically held on a Sunday late afternoon in winter. We like the idea because Kevin and I are active skaters and most of the rest of our household skates, and because we don't have to clean the house beforehand ;-). Typically we have covered the admissions and skate rentals for attendees who RSVP in advance.

We had originally scheduled this event for February 22, but it was washed out by heavy rains that day (the rink is outdoors).

This time around (so to speak), we're going on Sunday, March 22, from 5:30-7:30pm (choosing a later time, given we're in daylight savings time now). We'll bring cocoa and [livejournal.com profile] patgreene's brownies. Anyone care to join us? See http://www.winterlodge.com for directions.

[Poll #1365157]
jay: (contemplating)
Me at age 10, with microscope...

A physiology experiment in high school, at age 17...red ringlets

I was pulling together several old photos to send to someone doing a documentary, and these were kind of cute, even if they were about me. :)

And then this one, before the rocks started falling, at age 7
jay: (Default)
[from [personal profile] zpdiduda

One little compliment or affirmation can make you feel amazing. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are handsome, then post this in your own journal. Once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag, and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and it will remind you how great you are!

Comments are going to be screened, and anonymous is okay.
jay: (skating)
As winter gives way, you are invited to come ice skate... or watch your friends skate... this Sunday in Palo Alto at the Winter Lodge, http://www.winterlodge.com, 3-5pm. This is a family-friendly event, and [profile] patgreene and I have traditionally covered the cost of admission and skate rental for anyone who RSVPs in advance (by Friday, in this case).

RSVPs may be left in comments, or at http://brian1789.livejournal.com/742690.html . We'll have cider and cocoa and Pat's brownies, and feel free to bring along other snacks. Hope to glide along near you! :)
jay: (Nancy-smile)
Ten years ago at alt.polycon 4 in Chicago, a nervous guy wondered if that lovely woman could actually be interested in *him*... only to discover that she was, surprisingly.

I'd gone to APC4 as a sort of date with Ruth Anne, as we'd had a couple of dates and expected to take things further, away from home, driving back after the con from Phoenix together after I'd bought a car there... I had $2400 in a suitcase. Instead, the transmission of the car in Phoenix died (so no road trip), and RA and I fell heavily for different people (Ruth Anne for my roommate [personal profile] rmjwell, so today is their anniversary too, I guess... congrats ;).

This certainly surprised [profile] patgreene upon my arrival home (er... yes I did, but not with whom we expected... ) and a couple of years of difficult poly-transitioning began.

Just as ten years ago, things with Nancy are *easy*... we fall into each other's arms. Still happy and loving and passionate, still intense and funny and comfortable. Still my rock of stability, when every other relationship in my life has wavered or fallen down at times. Still loves me and is loved by me and just... fits. Happy 10th anniversary to us!
jay: (flowers)
I need to explore or find something different in my life... too much in the past couple of months (outside of work) has been quiet and dull. Lots of time on weekends spent cleaning and repairing and building things at home... granted, there's been a couple of years of deferred maintenance, but I miss going out and doing the occasional frivolous or recreational activity, or seeing friends. Or even doing activities with the kids... it has been three months of much work and little play. And being both the primary earner and able-bodied adult around the house leaves me often sliding into doing more caretaking than I'd wish.

The breaks, for me, have been travel... I'm really looking forward to going to Minneapolis in two weeks for the weekend for my 10th anniversary with Nancy. Or two weeks ago, when I went to DC a day early so I could spend all day Sunday with [personal profile] geekchick before my business Monday morning. Or going to Atlanta on business in December. I've held these out to myself as carrots and motivators... the problem with this is that it then sets my hopes and expectations really high, which can cause me to crash emotionally if everything isn't sparkly and fun when I visit for the weekend. Which in turn places an undue burden on my out-of-town partners and friends and family. They can't, alone, be my escape-valve or the spice in my life.

I'm really not much of a homebody, or happy retreating to a nest. I could be comfortable spending half my time on the road somewhere. And I don't watch DVDs, movies or TV, and rarely read anymore for pleasure, so there's not much to do at home *except* clean, cook or work on household projects. Except playing with the kids or cats? Any suggestions?
jay: (port-tasting)
Just a note to myself that this bubbly hard cider was crisp, faintly sweet, and a good way to toast the inauguration this morning, in my living room.

I can't get any more of it, since I picked it up in Brittany last summer, but someday...
jay: (skating)
For the past seven years, one of the social events that [livejournal.com profile] patgreene and I have hosted has been an annual ice skating party, typically held on a Sunday late afternoon in winter after the holiday rush is over. We like the idea because Kevin and I are active skaters and most of the rest of our household skates, and because we don't have to clean the house beforehand ;-). Typically we have covered the admissions and skate rentals for attendees who RSVP in advance.

This will be a kid-friendly event at the outdoor rink at the Winter Lodge in Palo Alto. This year, we're going on Sunday, February 22, from 3-5pm. We'll bring cocoa and [livejournal.com profile] patgreene's brownies. Anyone care to join us? See http://www.winterlodge.com for directions.

[Poll #1331916]
jay: (Default)
Not satisfied with simply cleaning and reorganizing the central living areas at home, I've tackled my office. Specifically, I've gone through and put about a cubic meter of mixed paper into recycling (all from my desktop). Gotten rid of acetate slides for presentations from the late 90s. Cleaned out bits of paper, old business cards, and the odd cable or two for peripherals I'm no longer using.

Cleaned my actual desktop... for the first time since sometime in (I think) 2004. Dust, broken bits of wire, dead insects, leafy bits from the salvia plant I had here in 2007... all gone now.

This has also been motivated by eyestrain, using my MacBook Pro 15" laptop for the past few years as my primary desktop computing interface. Now I have room for a new, bright 23" LCD monitor, a real keyboard and a wireless mouse, while the laptop is attached over in the corner.

I've ordered a new desk chair, to replace the one I've used since 1992 (and which itself is broken, with missing pieces, a broken armrest and torn cushion).

Framed photos (kids, Pat, other sweeties and an ex) have gone back around the edges of my desk, along with the hole-punch, tape dispenser and stapler. And the corner closest to the door still has the massive (30kg) 12-apex shatter cone that I brought back in 2002 from Haughton Crater. Along with a dinosaur fossil and a reputed impact fragment, both past gifts. And jumping plastic lederhosen, an origami shuttle, and beaded egg...
jay: (family)
The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness -- on them light has shined.

For a child has been born to us, a son given to us; authority rests upon his shoulders; and he is named wonderful counselor, mighty god, everlasting father, prince of peace.

(Isaiah 9:2, 5)

Whatever your own philosophical or belief structure in which you view the universe, may today and the year to come bring peace and love, more fun and appropriate stress levels. :) A happy Christmas, to those who observe (like myself), and a good day to everyone!

And not to set unrealistic political or personal expectations, but the first verse seems even more appropriate now, after the past year, and the past eight...
jay: (family)
At 12:07am, November 20, 1990, my son James arrived in this world... he was unexpectedly calm, wide-eyed (after a painful, 30-hour induced labor for his mom [profile] patgreene) and looking fascinated by all of *this* around him in the delivery room, as I held him closely.

He's still a very observant and analytical, even philosophical person today, with the same wide-eyed blue gaze at times. I'm very proud of him and how he's grown and developed and matured, and today he is legally an adult. We're going to go get his driver's license at the DMV office this afternoon, and will have cake at home around 9pm. Happy birthday, James!

much love, your father...
jay: (flowers)
Happy birthday to [profile] pusifoot and [personal profile] karenbynight, and I hope you each have a pleasant day. :)

[even if neither of you are likely to see this, the wishes are still there]
jay: (Default)
I've had several discussions lately with folks about relationship labels. For myself, I tend to view friendship and relationship as part of a continuous spectrum, with friendships simply being a kind of incomplete/damaged/otherwise-constrained relationship (if close) or else simply a non-hostile person (if not close). These are mine, for my own historical reasons, and I am not trying to persuade anyone else to use them. Only perhaps to better understand what I say, at times?

sweetie: someone with whom I have emotional closeness and affection, a loving relationship. And typically some degree of attachment, and/or ongoing communication with each other. It is regardless of whether there's been any physical play or intimacy in the relationship, of whatever sort. Someone I trust and can have fun with.

lover: is someone with whom I've been some form of physically intimate, ironically whether or not there's any ongoing emotional attachment.

partner = sweetie + lover, plus a deeper ongoing commitment or attachment.

friend: is generally someone with whom I've mutually agreed to not be hostile. Closer to me than an acquaintance, but the term doesn't carry any connotation of openness or safety or support. If someone says "let's just be friends", I hear "we'll agree to not be enemies in the future, but not necessarily anything more." Not a love-relationship, per se.

friend-with-benefits: = friend + lover, without ongoing attachment

ambigu-sweetie: from [personal profile] radven originally, for me this is vaguely friend+sweetie, but since those are along the same continuum, it refers to differing connections in different activities.

tocotox, quantum-relationship: these are placeholder names I use for relationships/friendships that don't easily fit in the above categories, or which may function as one thing in some ways and as a different one in others. Or may probabilistically jump between different energy/connection levels over time, in the latter case.

I last visited this topic about 16 months ago, in this thread.

Made it :)

Aug. 9th, 2008 04:00 pm
jay: (Default)
The walkback test was completed this afternoon... I led a group out with Pascal and ran tests at three locations a few miles apart, weather improved... all done but the report back to Houston. Likewise, my drilling automation project was done in July, and my role in the lunar exploration sims ended yesterday. So all of my major technical goals have been successfully accomplished for this season, all that remains is to get a few more gravity calibration readings, write up reports, and start packing.

For now, though... it's time for a shower. First one in a week, and only my third since 7/21...
jay: (traverse exploration ride)
Yesterday we started our main, er, thrust... the primary borehole. One difference from past years has been that we are taking core samples every 20-30cm, for a co-investigator interested in the hydrothermal structural layering. The soil is loose and there is very little ice to consolidate and cement it... so hole integrity and backfill are problems. Every bit or string change causes 5-10cm to collapse back down into the hole, which then has to be drilled out again.

And we found some software bugs... some from integration, others old ones latent in the original logic. Yesterday only the vibration-based diagnostics were working, and we made it to 89cm depth, but we were drilling until 9pm.

Today... [personal profile] compilerbitch worked steadily on fixes and mods in the morning. I saw little use in going back out with known-broken software. And an attempted telecon over lunch... the C-band was flaky, so we had to revert to IM back and forth to Ames. By 3pm, we were back out at the site, and have started drilling again. With full functionality... already have correctly identified and recovered from four different faults, out of six, and gone past a meter. Much improved... it is behaving correctly, but with the new software. :)

We've persuaded the airline to push back S. and J.'s departure by a day, so will extend drilling to Thursday noon instead of ending tomorrow. So I'm cautiously optimistic, after being quite concerned yesterday.
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