whether women actually ever wanted sex for its own sake, or just went along with it in order to gain things that they valued more (like cuddling, or attention, or building emotional ties). Hurmmmm.... I think perhaps the thing here is not that women don't want sex for its own sake. Myself I've never met a healthy adult woman who didn't enjoy / want sex. I think the difference is in perhaps how that desire manifests itself. I once had a friend comment that its pretty obvious when a guy is cruising a woman he finds attractive, but women are a lot more subtle about it. And YES we do it... I had an english professor once.. *whew*... that was a great class. The other thing is that socially, while a woman may find a man attractive, and she may very well have the desire, women are still less likely (although by no means always), to have sex just for sex's sake. There's a subtle difference here, more men than women, see sex as an end onto itself, and thus more often would say, have intimate relations with a woman they didn't even like, solely for the purpose of having sex. More often than men and again these are general trends, not carved in stone rules, women want or need some emotional attachment and involvement to act on the physical desire we're ALL born with. (its a genetic survival of the species thing). Thus perhaps the perception that women use sex to get to the other stuff, I don't think so. She wants the SEX and the OTHER STUFF both. I think the person who mentioned the visuals thing was also on to something here. Men do tend to be more stimulated visually, so an attractive woman starts the hormones flowing, women responding to more verbal and tactile stimuli have the other stuff that gets their motors running.
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Date: 2003-06-11 12:18 pm (UTC)Hurmmmm.... I think perhaps the thing here is not that women don't want sex for its own sake. Myself I've never met a healthy adult woman who didn't enjoy / want sex. I think the difference is in perhaps how that desire manifests itself. I once had a friend comment that its pretty obvious when a guy is cruising a woman he finds attractive, but women are a lot more subtle about it. And YES we do it... I had an english professor once.. *whew*... that was a great class. The other thing is that socially, while a woman may find a man attractive, and she may very well have the desire, women are still less likely (although by no means always), to have sex just for sex's sake. There's a subtle difference here, more men than women, see sex as an end onto itself, and thus more often would say, have intimate relations with a woman they didn't even like, solely for the purpose of having sex. More often than men and again these are general trends, not carved in stone rules, women want or need some emotional attachment and involvement to act on the physical desire we're ALL born with. (its a genetic survival of the species thing). Thus perhaps the perception that women use sex to get to the other stuff, I don't think so. She wants the SEX and the OTHER STUFF both.
I think the person who mentioned the visuals thing was also on to something here. Men do tend to be more stimulated visually, so an attractive woman starts the hormones flowing, women responding to more verbal and tactile stimuli have the other stuff that gets their motors running.