someone who has no clue about any of this

(grin) consider yourself lucky. And I'd appreciate it if you'd gently remind me if it looks like I'm being unusually provocative -- not that I expect my friends to be responsible for restraining my impulses, but I could use occasional help in shedding these old patterns.

Realizing that there are other ways to feel content and validated
Different, less-destructive kinds of validation, at least.