I still feel guilty feelings sometimes regarding your involvement
It's still not all about you, Brian. ;^)
While I appreciate the sentiment of feeling bad about "dragging me into it," it's probably mostly misplaced. Although I certainly didn't know the full background (seeing as how I haven't read that list for, oh, about 6 years), otherwise I walked into it with my eyes open. My actions in posting that thing in polyamory were entirely my own. Even there, there were valuable things I learned, although as you say it definitely did make my life miserable for some weeks. I'm still processing how to proceed, knowing of the low esteem that certain members of our (dare I say it??) "community" hold me. I'm continually baffled by the "us vs. them" and "feud" mindset that seems to have grown up around this. I'm not "feuding" with anyone, and I find it unsettling that others appear to be feuding with me.
But I TOTALLY agree that had the original feeback been less inflammatory, it would have been far more likely that you would have "gotten it" sooner. Unvarnished truth, wielded as a weapon, makes a particularly poor learning vehicle. I try to take that into account whenever I feel the urge these days to level some particularly juicy sarcasm at someone--It's more likely to make someone defensive and to close their ears than to educate them.
Re: good insights
It's still not all about you, Brian. ;^)
While I appreciate the sentiment of feeling bad about "dragging me into it," it's probably mostly misplaced. Although I certainly didn't know the full background (seeing as how I haven't read that list for, oh, about 6 years), otherwise I walked into it with my eyes open. My actions in posting that thing in
But I TOTALLY agree that had the original feeback been less inflammatory, it would have been far more likely that you would have "gotten it" sooner. Unvarnished truth, wielded as a weapon, makes a particularly poor learning vehicle. I try to take that into account whenever I feel the urge these days to level some particularly juicy sarcasm at someone--It's more likely to make someone defensive and to close their ears than to educate them.