Aug. 10th, 2004
a long Tuesday crash...
Aug. 10th, 2004 06:54 pmLast week, I was doing something worthwhile, I felt. I had a mission, discernable goals. Being in a wilderness, having to fix and solve problems in real-time... being alert and wary of hazards kept me in a sort of low-level hyper-focus for two weeks. I was *on* in some sense... not euphoric, but just highly-functional.
Since returning... it has been a four-day crash. Lack of purpose or meaning. Few challenges. Hyper-awareness of... kids arguing? Paperwork? My mood has crashed, I feel useless and shelved and emotionally raw and generally grumpy. A long Tuesday... And I'm still affection-starved after being in the field for two weeks, and![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
patgreene's out of town herself.
So, take any recent interactions with me with that filter. Right now, I'm feeling beached and insignificant and unwanted. Not very functional. This is spilling over into my personal interactions, both on LJ and private... sorry. I probably could use a hand, but am not sure what I'd ask for, or am allowed to want/need. This seems to happen every year as kind of a transition shock... last year I picked a huge fight on![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
polyamory as a means of self-flagellation and distraction. Two years ago, a week-long argument with a new sweetie. It should pass in a week or so, given past experience.
Since returning... it has been a four-day crash. Lack of purpose or meaning. Few challenges. Hyper-awareness of... kids arguing? Paperwork? My mood has crashed, I feel useless and shelved and emotionally raw and generally grumpy. A long Tuesday... And I'm still affection-starved after being in the field for two weeks, and
patgreene's out of town herself. So, take any recent interactions with me with that filter. Right now, I'm feeling beached and insignificant and unwanted. Not very functional. This is spilling over into my personal interactions, both on LJ and private... sorry. I probably could use a hand, but am not sure what I'd ask for, or am allowed to want/need. This seems to happen every year as kind of a transition shock... last year I picked a huge fight on
polyamory as a means of self-flagellation and distraction. Two years ago, a week-long argument with a new sweetie. It should pass in a week or so, given past experience.