sigh. I suppose I should have expected as much, given some interactions last week.
Brian, I am about THIS close to taking a vacation from your assumptions like this. It's very wearing, even when they're not (I don't believe) aimed in my direction. I'm tired of trying to talk you out of your own negative self-image and worldview.
Suggestion (take it or leave it, as you will):
For a week or two, try just THINKING the self-deprecating thoughts. DON'T actually write them in your journal. I'm beginning to think that they ARE pathetic attempts at attention-getting, and our responding "no you're not!" (or whatever the appropriate reaction is) is simply feeding this negative cycle for you. You presume nobody wants you around, you say so, in the most pathetic way possible, and it MAKES nobody want you around because it's no fun to interact with someone you have to convince is worth the air he's breathing. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
As I've said before, your deductive skills are excellent. AND in the realm of personal relationships you make unsupported leaps that cause trouble for yourself. Try making some unsupported leaps in the other direction. Try FIRST assuming that there's some other problem that could be causing this break in communication. Or at least try ASKING folks if that's what's up, before stating your fears that they just don't want you around. And while you're at it, OWN that they are FEARS. DON'T label them as expectations (which is what you did above).
(And yes, I AM in a pissy mood--why do you ask? ;^)
Let me know if you need me to model how that might have looked in writing.
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WARNING: more unasked-for coaching
Date: 2004-01-03 01:25 pm (UTC)Brian, I am about THIS close to taking a vacation from your assumptions like this. It's very wearing, even when they're not (I don't believe) aimed in my direction. I'm tired of trying to talk you out of your own negative self-image and worldview.
Suggestion (take it or leave it, as you will):
For a week or two, try just THINKING the self-deprecating thoughts. DON'T actually write them in your journal. I'm beginning to think that they ARE pathetic attempts at attention-getting, and our responding "no you're not!" (or whatever the appropriate reaction is) is simply feeding this negative cycle for you. You presume nobody wants you around, you say so, in the most pathetic way possible, and it MAKES nobody want you around because it's no fun to interact with someone you have to convince is worth the air he's breathing. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
As I've said before, your deductive skills are excellent. AND in the realm of personal relationships you make unsupported leaps that cause trouble for yourself. Try making some unsupported leaps in the other direction. Try FIRST assuming that there's some other problem that could be causing this break in communication. Or at least try ASKING folks if that's what's up, before stating your fears that they just don't want you around. And while you're at it, OWN that they are FEARS. DON'T label them as expectations (which is what you did above).
(And yes, I AM in a pissy mood--why do you ask? ;^)
Let me know if you need me to model how that might have looked in writing.