If I have a countervailing request (say, from Pat or work) then they will effectively cancel each other... if I can't satisfy two sides in something, then I will allow my wants and needs to weigh in to the decision. Or will assess the relative harm posed to each side by my not fulfilling their conflicting requests, and choose the path of minimizing overall harm done.
When do I have time? I squeeze it out of holes in my daytime work schedule (it helps to have 5 weeks of vacation per year), while in dead time on business trips, and in evenings when Pat is typically watching TV. I don't watch TV or DVDs, I don't game, I don't have many personal hobbies or pursuits anymore except skating lessons in winter. I don't read for pleasure except while seated on airplanes or working out in the gym. I settle for a cluttered home and office rather than spend the time repetitively cleaning -- unless Pat makes a request ;-).
Time for me? Typically happens late at night, after Pat is asleep, between 11pm-2am. I've learned to adjust to living on 4-5 hours of sleep per night. That sleep-reduction is also helpful in other ways, like reducing desire for sex (opportunities for which are infrequent).
As far as claims on energy go... I find it hard to make requests myself of anyone unless I already have some claim on their time and energy due to blood or extended-family closeness. Even in small things... one of my problems at social gatherings happens when I have no partners or intimate friends there, and hence no one that I can feel relaxed about approaching if I start to become stressed or lonely. Absent that safety net, things can spiral downward...
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Date: 2004-04-16 04:15 pm (UTC)When do I have time? I squeeze it out of holes in my daytime work schedule (it helps to have 5 weeks of vacation per year), while in dead time on business trips, and in evenings when Pat is typically watching TV. I don't watch TV or DVDs, I don't game, I don't have many personal hobbies or pursuits anymore except skating lessons in winter. I don't read for pleasure except while seated on airplanes or working out in the gym. I settle for a cluttered home and office rather than spend the time repetitively cleaning -- unless Pat makes a request ;-).
Time for me? Typically happens late at night, after Pat is asleep, between 11pm-2am. I've learned to adjust to living on 4-5 hours of sleep per night. That sleep-reduction is also helpful in other ways, like reducing desire for sex (opportunities for which are infrequent).
As far as claims on energy go... I find it hard to make requests myself of anyone unless I already have some claim on their time and energy due to blood or extended-family closeness. Even in small things... one of my problems at social gatherings happens when I have no partners or intimate friends there, and hence no one that I can feel relaxed about approaching if I start to become stressed or lonely. Absent that safety net, things can spiral downward...