Hmm... I was already tired when I arrived, it has been a long week. Then I was in the hot tub and noticed several highly-physically-attractive folks in there with me, and began feeling out-classed. I started pulling in, literally wrapping arms and legs around me, and became tenser. No one noticed this, fortunately. Two of the people began quietly making out on the other side... I didn't know them at all, so I got up and went indoors. There, I hovered, despite protestations to the contrary, still trying to regain my self-assurance. I needed a hug and a bit of attention, but was frozen -- couldn't jumpstart myself by myself, but also found it very hard to ask while in that emotional space. Then the two pretty people from the hot tub came indoors and resumed being intertwined on the floor adjacent to where I had been sitting, eating ginger cheesecake and wearing a towel. I clenched again, felt way too intimidated (I was by comparison too ugly, too boring, etc. internal scripts) to get any closer to karenbynight or sarahh (friends who were sitting next to me on the other side), and finally bailed-out, got dressed and headed home. The couple on the other side were oblivious, completely under the comforter by then (heh...).
However, all was not lost cuddle-wise, as I was surprised and lured into a trap before I escaped for home ;-).
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Date: 2004-05-21 08:00 am (UTC)However, all was not lost cuddle-wise, as I was surprised and lured into a trap before I escaped for home ;-).