jay | Con-clueless

Current Mood: calm

Con-clueless

I've been to exactly two SF cons ever -- a Worldcon (Noreascon II, in Boston in 1981) and a local one (Baycon, in 1991). I've never really gotten the impetus... both times I went for just a day membership, didn't know anyone there, sat in on some panels, walked around the dealers' room and bought stuff, and watched people dressed up in costume walk around. It was okay, but I felt very much like an observer at some other community's event, missing the signals and important cues. I didn't stay around in the evenings, since I knew no one and wasn't staying there overnight.

This weekend, many local friends are going to this years' Baycon, which reminds me of the difference in my perception of such events compared to theirs. There must be *something* which draws them back, year after year... I understand intuitively an attraction to Burning Man, say, even having never been there, because of the parallels with camping during field work. But I'm still mostly con-clueless.

That said, I did visit Baycon briefly yesterday, going over to give

questioner a hair-check in her room before the festivities. I wasn't thinking and wore a NASA shirt -- actually, my "SETI Signal Detection Team -- Arecibo'92" polo shirt. Which then resulted in my being stopped and queried twice just between the elevators and parking lot, once by two attractive women with "guest" badges ("I'd like to work there, too!") and another time by some older guy with a mustache and about ten ribbons on his badge -- an organizer of some sort. I suppose that wearing work-related stuff is actually a button-pushing kind of display, in that environment. LOL... I guess that my project-patch-covered NASA flight jacket would be practically fetish-wear, over there. Or maybe not... I still don't really understand the con-cultural values. Anyway, hopefully my friends will enjoy themselves while I'm out at Costco or weeding this weekend. ;-)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Actually, I'd forgotten about the funny looks and not-so-hidden "go away" body language... at both SF cons I attended, I was in street clothes. I didn't know any better, and would not have felt comfortable in costume anyway, I'm too self-conscious (one reason why I never really got into the SCA, either, although I had many friends who were).

So after those two attempts at cons, a decade apart, the isolation and social rejection memories have been enough to keep me from trying again, even after I actually knew people who attended...

Work shirts... fine, for me space-related clothing articles are mundane, just mission- and project-related stuff. Non-fictional.

at both SF cons I attended, I was in street clothes. I didn't know any better, and would not have felt comfortable in costume anyway

FWIW, I've never done hall costuming at any of the (non-costuming-specific) cons I've gone to on this coast, and it has never presented a problem.

Hmmm... maybe it was not the clothes, but being there completely alone. Have you gone to cons, while knowing no one there?

Not totally alone, but at the first con I went to, the only person I knew was the person I was with. (He did know other people there though, and we were mostly there to go to a party.)

So there was some social connectivity... I wonder if I could persuade you to go with me to one. Preferably in your new boots and a corset... Of course, then I wouldn't notice the con ;-).

even in costume I would likely get pegged as non-mundane at this point, from body language alone. I suspect that may be part of your problem, as well... not only at cons.

I'm confused by this comment. I thought it was -good- to get pegged as a non-mundane at a con. Why is being non-mundane a problem?

I meant "mundane", of course. the problem with meds every 6 hour is that quite often I don't get back to sleep after waking up to take a pill and it's taxing on a body and brain doing their best (which is not that good) to heal.

Sometimes I think that not everyone defines that the same way. Some folks consider it a pejorative, many don't. Like "geek," it's partially more a matter of self-identity than a describable label.

I'm not very fannish. I like SF, but fandom isn't something that I can relate well to. That said, Baycon seems to be about more than that -- Brian might enjoy being a panel participant or an observer, just for his Devon Island and other fascinating experience -- and there are many ways to participate. I didn't actually do a lot besides socialize. Baycon (I only attended one evening) seemed to be, for me, more of a way to find so many of my friends in one place than anything else.

I was really glad for my scooter, as I "flitted about" a lot.

I'm concerned that Brian would think he hasn't got a lot of friends in the area or in fandom, but I know for sure that he does, and that many of them were at the Doubletree this weekend. I also think he would have enjoyed a fair bit of the programming.

Incidentally, I didn't go in costume. I've only been to a couple of SF cons, including this one, and didn't even dress up for either one. The masquerade ball excepted, I'd say that most people tended to look either mundane or just garden-variety geeky (you know, like us) this weekend.

Yay for the scooter!

I know of a couple friends overtly in fandom... probably more who were at Baycon in a more-casual sense. I might have welcomed the distraction, but given my emotional state at the time I wouldn't have been much fun, I think (and had therefore convinced myself that no one would want me tagging along behind them ;).

And there's just no way I could have actually asked my friends to help cheer me up... maybe someday, but that's IMO a graduate-level seminar in asking...

Mundane... I think of the word as meaning tactically "blends in with the street, unnoticed". And therefore usually a good thing (or safer, at least). In full camouflage, in other words. (grin) In a *personal* sense, I've never thought of it as relevant. ;-)

Sure... I have spent my whole life trying to look mundane and low-key, to avoid negative consequences otherwise (like being physically beaten-up, in the distant past)... it would be hard to turn that defensive camouflage off. Work-related NASA mission clothing is OK exactly because it *is* mundane and unremarkable, at least in my environments.

*nod* makes sense.

same here (though the physical threatening stopped around 9th or 10th grade)

Actually, it stopped then for me too... 10th grade was the last incident, after band class.

Occasional threats continued for another year or two, but by age 16 it was over. Thankfully.

At the con, it would have been not-mundane, and unremarkable -- but popular. :)

Hmmm... in the con-context, would that actually make it.... mundane? (wink)

I wonder if the self-consciousness is just because you tend to be so. The primary "uniform" at this con seemed to me to be "t-shirt and jeans," either something mostly black, or mostly tie-dyed, but I saw my share of polo shirts and short-sleeved oxfords. (There were also plenty of people in renfaire garb, costumes, gothy look, etc. The only time I felt distinctly out of place was in the fang-maker's hotel room, which was a decidedly dark and gothy zone, and I just didn't fit. But I was with Emmett and other folks who aren't very gothy, so we joked together. I made a joke about being willing to have sex with Bill Nye, and one of the very dark people looked at me as if I'd said I'd have sex with George Bush.

*gasp*

But later, other folks told me that they'd do Bill Nye just out of fun and gratitude, so I know for sure that there are enough different kinds of people for any open-minded, science-loving geek -- and Brian, you are one of those -- to fit in.

(Note: Many goths would honor wanting to have sex with Bill Nye, would do it themselves, or are at least accepting enough not to worry about who I want to have sex with. This tiny subset seemed to be very much into needing to be a certain kind of dark, and I suspect they also would refuse to listen to music that didn't suit their scene, even if they liked it.)

As far as that subset goes, they sounded a bit inflexible or closed-minded... being in a minority oneself doesn't necessarily mean openness to others.

A big part of my self-consciousness comes from childhood in Georgia -- in the 1970s, drawing attention to oneself was likely to draw abuse, even beatings by groups of kids, except for certain socially-approved distinctions (mostly from athletic pursuits). So I learned to always reflexively do a threat-assessment upon entering a room or approaching a group of people, and to constantly scan myself to ensure that I wasn't looking/saying/doing anything that could be turned into a pretext for more abuse. Keeping a low profile...

At cons, full of people I don't know with different customs and unwritten rules, I've been as wary as if I were entering a previously-unvisited foreign country... probably with stressed and tense body language, nonverbally warning people to stay back. And as always, I went stag... one thing I could certainly do to help myself is to recruit friends to go together to events.

(wonder if I should get a full Bill Nye outfit... I already have the lab coat... ;-)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Con-clueless

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject