'S okay. Keep in mind that I'm trying to put words on hard-to-describe feelings. Which may resemble the feelings of someone being cheated-on -- there's some social conditioning there, after all. And evolution.
But feelings aren't the same as beliefs, and beliefs don't necessarily lead to actions. I don't actually believe an SO is unclean after zie's been with a new SO, or really poses a pregnancy (if female) or huge STD risk (assuming that the given partner uses their normal precautions)... I'm trying to dissect my underlying emotional responses, which are not necessarily logical or coherent. They are what they are...
And action-wise... I have not asked any of my partners to not date someone. A couple times I've expressed my own reservations. I've worried aloud about being abandoned, but that seems commonplace. But I am very slow about asking my partners for *anything*, let alone important stuff.
As in the parent thread, I see it as kind of a dues-paying... unpleasant, maybe a bit scary and painful, but necessary if one is going to be poly. My emotional response often causes me to pout or withdraw for awhile after a partner takes a new partner, but (so far) I've always come back.
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Date: 2004-10-25 04:11 pm (UTC)But feelings aren't the same as beliefs, and beliefs don't necessarily lead to actions. I don't actually believe an SO is unclean after zie's been with a new SO, or really poses a pregnancy (if female) or huge STD risk (assuming that the given partner uses their normal precautions)... I'm trying to dissect my underlying emotional responses, which are not necessarily logical or coherent. They are what they are...
And action-wise... I have not asked any of my partners to not date someone. A couple times I've expressed my own reservations. I've worried aloud about being abandoned, but that seems commonplace. But I am very slow about asking my partners for *anything*, let alone important stuff.
As in the parent thread, I see it as kind of a dues-paying... unpleasant, maybe a bit scary and painful, but necessary if one is going to be poly. My emotional response often causes me to pout or withdraw for awhile after a partner takes a new partner, but (so far) I've always come back.