Suggestions. If there is a party/gathering, don't just go to it with a bag full of expectations. Get involved with the dirty work. Help in the kitchen. Look quietly for moments where an extra set of hands would be good. Check with the hosts about a week early and find out what help they could use. (You don't live in the South so you might actually get a task or two.) Don't wait to be entertained or wooed. If time is an issue, (which admittedly it often is) bring a gift and make sure there are at least 2 people you have a real connection with that will be there. It is even better if at least one of those is as shy as you might feel. Go to smaller gatherings. Stop trying to do hook-ups. We are grown. Singles bars or the current equivilent only really work in the movies. Make a list of the social times you really felt good. Take note of all the things they had in common. If the event you are planning to attend has less than half of those, don't go.
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If there is a party/gathering, don't just go to it with a bag full of expectations. Get involved with the dirty work. Help in the kitchen. Look quietly for moments where an extra set of hands would be good. Check with the hosts about a week early and find out what help they could use. (You don't live in the South so you might actually get a task or two.) Don't wait to be entertained or wooed.
If time is an issue, (which admittedly it often is) bring a gift and make sure there are at least 2 people you have a real connection with that will be there. It is even better if at least one of those is as shy as you might feel.
Go to smaller gatherings.
Stop trying to do hook-ups. We are grown. Singles bars or the current equivilent only really work in the movies.
Make a list of the social times you really felt good. Take note of all the things they had in common. If the event you are planning to attend has less than half of those, don't go.