Oh, I'm so sorry. "Less than a year" is a short time. But it is also a long time, for anyone who is wound up tight with caregiving, and also for anyone who finds death and grieving difficult or unfamiliar (that would be lots of people, and almost certainly your kids).
Suggestions:
Think about how to get your mother to go 'off duty' from whatever caregiving she is doing. If you visit, do stuff with her away from the hospital or wherever your dad is, as well as visiting him and helping her with dad-duties. If she will accept it at some point, you can try offering her flyer-miles for a visit to you, or asking her if she'd like you to fly anyone else in for a visit.
Also, instead of just thinking of getting all your kids there in June, what about either you or Pat taking James for a short visit very soon? James' own needs in this, and the ways in which his presence will be a blessing to both grandparents, are likely quite different from those of his younger brothers. If it works out well, you could take or send him again later and also have a better idea how to prepare your younger sons, and the whole situation will be less of a scary unknown than it would be if none of the kids were there for months while hearing about it.
Our kids and my niblings found it difficult to deal with the longevity of emotional pain they got while my dad was dying, and that was only three weeks.
no subject
Suggestions:
Think about how to get your mother to go 'off duty' from whatever caregiving she is doing. If you visit, do stuff with her away from the hospital or wherever your dad is, as well as visiting him and helping her with dad-duties. If she will accept it at some point, you can try offering her flyer-miles for a visit to you, or asking her if she'd like you to fly anyone else in for a visit.
Also, instead of just thinking of getting all your kids there in June, what about either you or Pat taking James for a short visit very soon? James' own needs in this, and the ways in which his presence will be a blessing to both grandparents, are likely quite different from those of his younger brothers. If it works out well, you could take or send him again later and also have a better idea how to prepare your younger sons, and the whole situation will be less of a scary unknown than it would be if none of the kids were there for months while hearing about it.
Our kids and my niblings found it difficult to deal with the longevity of emotional pain they got while my dad was dying, and that was only three weeks.