To accept help is to make oneself vulnerable, IMO... being less than fully-functional and self-reliant. Less than fully adult, somehow... And vulnerable to disruption if offers of help are later withdrawn or changed. Not to mention incurring an ongoing debt to those providing help, unless one has first done enough for them to maintain a rough balance.

When I most needed help was in the first few days after Pat's accident, when she was incapacitated and had to remain in bed or otherwise reclined with her leg up, while the kids were running around yelling and trash and dishes and laundry were piling up. Now that it is the weekend, I'm home and can cover those things.

And I can hardly expect friends to help with these things... my local sweeties didn't volunteer, even the one who *likes* dishwashing.