I understand how you could feel as you indicate in the first paragraph. I believe your reasoning to be flawed, if not unhealthy, but I'm not going to go into it and give you more feedback unless you actually want it and ask for it.
I'll fuss about the second paragraph.....my remembrance of your requests indicated an expression of feeling overwhelmed but not saying, "I really need help now." If you do not ask for exactly what you need, you can't receive.
And if you can't expect friends to help with these things then you aren't allowing your friends to be as generous as they are.
I have one parent figure who will loan you money or offer you help but always with strings attached or an expectation of balance maintained. I have learned to never ask that parent for assistance of any kind because the burden increases as time goes on rather than the balance being "paid off". I have another who gives freely from her heart, she gives if she can because she can without expecting payment, either monetary or otherwise, to be made. It is her gift of service.
I would far rather live my life in the latter category, both in giving and receiving. I won't keep a tally sheet. I refuse to. Knowing that another person does so makes it harder to be able to ask for or offer assistance. Doesn't mean I don't want to but it does mean it makes it more difficult.
As for your final paragraph.....*shakes head*.....too much to say and none of it my business.
My offer still stands, without strings attached. If you think you can't ask for my help without having a balance against it first or worrying about "paying me back", well, I guess that's your choice.
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Date: 2005-08-06 11:29 pm (UTC)I'll fuss about the second paragraph.....my remembrance of your requests indicated an expression of feeling overwhelmed but not saying, "I really need help now." If you do not ask for exactly what you need, you can't receive.
And if you can't expect friends to help with these things then you aren't allowing your friends to be as generous as they are.
I have one parent figure who will loan you money or offer you help but always with strings attached or an expectation of balance maintained. I have learned to never ask that parent for assistance of any kind because the burden increases as time goes on rather than the balance being "paid off". I have another who gives freely from her heart, she gives if she can because she can without expecting payment, either monetary or otherwise, to be made. It is her gift of service.
I would far rather live my life in the latter category, both in giving and receiving. I won't keep a tally sheet. I refuse to. Knowing that another person does so makes it harder to be able to ask for or offer assistance. Doesn't mean I don't want to but it does mean it makes it more difficult.
As for your final paragraph.....*shakes head*.....too much to say and none of it my business.
My offer still stands, without strings attached. If you think you can't ask for my help without having a balance against it first or worrying about "paying me back", well, I guess that's your choice.