field success, personal isolation
Sep. 2nd, 2005 01:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jayWell.. on the good side, the project is moving along on track and we have communications tested between the drill and NASA-Ames. This is the largest thing that my team was supposed to provide, so we've now met our minimum mission objectives (ahead of schedule). Lots of long hours, late nights, and coping with demands. On my part, battles and occasional shouting matches with CS or HC over resources, interpretations of past events, or a lack of either defined requirements or resources. I like being the PI, and overall responsible party, much better than just another subsystem co-investigator jockeying for position.
And I feel detached and out of touch with my sweeties and friends and with greater events, like the weather and other disasters at home. Let alone issues with the kids. And I've hardly communicated with Nancy orgeekchick, and mostly in a supportive role with patgreene or tenacious_snail. Still, I volunteered for this, so I can hardly complain.
Yesterday,sarahh and I went shopping... to Ikea in Seville, and Hipercor to buy groceries. We've set up a household of sorts here together... have been entertaining, hosting the team members here for breakfast every day as well as the past two nights' dinners. It builds morale and team unity and gives everyonbe safe outlets to work out interpersonal issues... but is tiring and runs late. We held our own little Sunset and Port on Wednesday night...
OTOH, I'm seriously cuddle-starved, and hug-starved, and have been forcing myself to squash all sexual feelings. By the time thattenacious_snail arrives in two weeks, I feel like I'm going to be either half-crazy, or zombie-like and shut down... (wry grin). Having less online and phone access than in past years has added to my sense of isolation.
And I had a journal article rejected for publication today, albeit with encouragement to revise and resubmit it. But it will miss the special issue of Meteoritics on the geology of Haughton Crater, and that's too bad.
Thinking about it, in the past, I've had a partner here with me for these intense, stressful periods -- Nancy in 2003,patgreene last year... supportive and cuddly and de-stressing. I miss that this year more than I expected. :-| I did not realize how much I'd leaned, emotionally, in the past on having a partner here, someone on whose shoulder I could unabashedly lay my head and snuggle when the outside world was being strange and demanding. Or when I was trying hard to make things work for everyone else, someone to help me and remind me to take care of myself.
Oh, well. Still over a month to go... tired, and Germany promises to be even more isolated, next week,.. at least the daytime temperatures here have fallen from 107F down to the 90s.
And I feel detached and out of touch with my sweeties and friends and with greater events, like the weather and other disasters at home. Let alone issues with the kids. And I've hardly communicated with Nancy or
geekchick, and mostly in a supportive role with patgreene or tenacious_snail. Still, I volunteered for this, so I can hardly complain. Yesterday,
sarahh and I went shopping... to Ikea in Seville, and Hipercor to buy groceries. We've set up a household of sorts here together... have been entertaining, hosting the team members here for breakfast every day as well as the past two nights' dinners. It builds morale and team unity and gives everyonbe safe outlets to work out interpersonal issues... but is tiring and runs late. We held our own little Sunset and Port on Wednesday night...OTOH, I'm seriously cuddle-starved, and hug-starved, and have been forcing myself to squash all sexual feelings. By the time that
tenacious_snail arrives in two weeks, I feel like I'm going to be either half-crazy, or zombie-like and shut down... (wry grin). Having less online and phone access than in past years has added to my sense of isolation. And I had a journal article rejected for publication today, albeit with encouragement to revise and resubmit it. But it will miss the special issue of Meteoritics on the geology of Haughton Crater, and that's too bad.
Thinking about it, in the past, I've had a partner here with me for these intense, stressful periods -- Nancy in 2003,
patgreene last year... supportive and cuddly and de-stressing. I miss that this year more than I expected. :-| I did not realize how much I'd leaned, emotionally, in the past on having a partner here, someone on whose shoulder I could unabashedly lay my head and snuggle when the outside world was being strange and demanding. Or when I was trying hard to make things work for everyone else, someone to help me and remind me to take care of myself. Oh, well. Still over a month to go... tired, and Germany promises to be even more isolated, next week,.. at least the daytime temperatures here have fallen from 107F down to the 90s.
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no subject
Date: 2005-09-02 12:20 am (UTC)*morehugs*
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Date: 2005-09-02 12:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-02 02:23 am (UTC)I am delighted that you want me to be in Spain, and am really looking forward to it...it felt like such a fantasy last year. Now I'm doing things like selecting which suitcase to take.
I know my mind is very preoccupied with New Orleans (I managed to talk to Mom for nearly an hour today), but you should know that looking forward to Spain is a HUGE help to me right now.
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Date: 2005-09-02 03:47 am (UTC)*hug* Take care, you.
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Date: 2005-09-02 04:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-02 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-02 07:31 am (UTC)I think I just shut down after a while. I'm not sure that isn't what's happeneing to me already, to some degree?
no subject
Date: 2005-09-02 04:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-06 05:47 am (UTC)