Erm...this strikes me as the sort of thing that your sweeties would bristle at.
I know you have trouble with this concept, but you really, truly are *not* hideous. As I see it, your major burden isn't anything external, but your current conviction that you're sub par (and the attendant splashover onto your sweeties). It's clear what it takes for you to have a sense of validation about your intellect, what would it take for you to lose the sense that you're some sort of ... what, a booby prize? I don't wish to suggest that you should grade yourself based on your partners, but this round of self-effacing self-deprivation isn't doing *anyone* any favors.
The masseuse isn't there to take pleasure in your body, she's trying to offer you a service -- and believe me, I know enough professional massage therapists to understand the range of clientele they serve. What bothers them is rudeness, pawing, lack of hygiene, and other forms of disrespect -- I know a few who say that they find it distracting and unpleasant to massage someone they find physically compelling, anyway. (Giving an intimate partner a massage is one thing, having to struggle to quell inappropriate responses is another.)
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Date: 2005-10-29 08:05 pm (UTC)I know you have trouble with this concept, but you really, truly are *not* hideous. As I see it, your major burden isn't anything external, but your current conviction that you're sub par (and the attendant splashover onto your sweeties). It's clear what it takes for you to have a sense of validation about your intellect, what would it take for you to lose the sense that you're some sort of ... what, a booby prize? I don't wish to suggest that you should grade yourself based on your partners, but this round of self-effacing self-deprivation isn't doing *anyone* any favors.
The masseuse isn't there to take pleasure in your body, she's trying to offer you a service -- and believe me, I know enough professional massage therapists to understand the range of clientele they serve. What bothers them is rudeness, pawing, lack of hygiene, and other forms of disrespect -- I know a few who say that they find it distracting and unpleasant to massage someone they find physically compelling, anyway. (Giving an intimate partner a massage is one thing, having to struggle to quell inappropriate responses is another.)