If I'm understanding this correctly, you feel everything requires external validation. Still, is it useful to use the wrong instrument to take readings?
I don't understand what you mean by "visually-unappealing client to touch". Is it a case of "they wouldn't feel sexually drawn to me, feel compelled to touch me, without the intercession of money, so it feels dirty to pay for a massage" ? I think you're conflating intimate exchange of massages in a non-professional context with the professional therapeutic services being paid for. Surely you don't require that other people offering you professional services should have been willing to do it in the "doing you a personal favor" sense?
Again, read what you wrote. You're using the way that people at the hot tub parties don't approach you as proof that you're unappealing, when it seems to me that they're operating from a "if you don't approach, we will respect your boundaries" paradigm. You have conflicting base assumptions. You either need to change your assumptions or change to a venue where your assumption matches the prevalent mode.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-30 06:48 pm (UTC)I don't understand what you mean by "visually-unappealing client to touch". Is it a case of "they wouldn't feel sexually drawn to me, feel compelled to touch me, without the intercession of money, so it feels dirty to pay for a massage" ? I think you're conflating intimate exchange of massages in a non-professional context with the professional therapeutic services being paid for. Surely you don't require that other people offering you professional services should have been willing to do it in the "doing you a personal favor" sense?
Again, read what you wrote. You're using the way that people at the hot tub parties don't approach you as proof that you're unappealing, when it seems to me that they're operating from a "if you don't approach, we will respect your boundaries" paradigm. You have conflicting base assumptions. You either need to change your assumptions or change to a venue where your assumption matches the prevalent mode.