(no subject)

[jay]

I'm staying home today, supposedly to recover from jet lag and to reconnect with patgreene and the kids. But the kids are in school, Pat's gone this morning (doctor) and part of this afternoon (church stuff), and I have no idea what to do today. Sitting around the house... sort of wish I were elsewhere... forced inactivity isn't my idea of R&R. Maybe these transitions would work better if I set up a busy schedule immediately upon return, rather than downtime. Maybe I should go in to work, anyway...

Comments

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Brian, if by "around here in CA" you're talking about the hot tub crowd -- it seems to me that you've mentioned that you feel excluded in all sorts of ways there, but I also recall others form that group mentioning that it's a matter of your not feeling comfortable asserting yourself there, and it's very much a "must demonstrate consent and willingness by initiating action" environment. If you're using the metric "people in that community don't seek me out to interact with", you're measuring with a badly calibrated tool.

What is it that you imagine would make you an unpleasant client?

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Badly calibrated, perhaps, but it is all that I have as feedback. So losing that view of myself sounds unlikely, not something I'm likely to find local support for here. Assuming it is incorrect.

I expect I'd be a visually-unappealing client to touch...

[trinker.livejournal.com]

If I'm understanding this correctly, you feel everything requires external validation. Still, is it useful to use the wrong instrument to take readings?

I don't understand what you mean by "visually-unappealing client to touch". Is it a case of "they wouldn't feel sexually drawn to me, feel compelled to touch me, without the intercession of money, so it feels dirty to pay for a massage" ? I think you're conflating intimate exchange of massages in a non-professional context with the professional therapeutic services being paid for. Surely you don't require that other people offering you professional services should have been willing to do it in the "doing you a personal favor" sense?

Again, read what you wrote. You're using the way that people at the hot tub parties don't approach you as proof that you're unappealing, when it seems to me that they're operating from a "if you don't approach, we will respect your boundaries" paradigm. You have conflicting base assumptions. You either need to change your assumptions or change to a venue where your assumption matches the prevalent mode.