a ceasefire.... and apologies

[jay]

Three days ago, I misinterpreted someone's joke as aimed at my sweeties and relationships, flashed, and reacted without bothering to ask the author if that was what they'd really intended. And then, in trying to explain one reason why I reacted so quickly, I managed to insult an entire group of people, further compounding the error and inciting more drama. By that afternoon, I clearly understood how I'd gotten myself in trouble, even though I wasn't admitting as much, and the two days since have been a time-sink of defense and returning volleys for me. I need to take a break from this, and am going to stop replying further on the two original posts (the first was filtered).

First off, I want to apologize to joedecker for badly misconstruing his attempted humor, my reaction was far out of proportion and I should really have checked in first before assuming the worst. Even in a snark forum. And speaking of those, I also owe apologies to the members (like liliaren or soaring_phoenix, both departed) who were hurt and insulted initially when swept up in my overgeneralization, and compounded by my digging in my heels and refusing to admit as much. While I still feel that abusive things go on in those groups, that's just my framework, and many people there *do* just go to vent harmlessly (and don't deserve to be splattered-by-association). And calling griffen a "fool" in the heat of the moment was unnecessary and untrue, sorry Griff. Finally, for anyone uninvolved who has simply winced at the unnecessary drama, I'm sorry to have dragged such out into your LJ list.

So, I'm calling a unilateral cease-fire. I wish I'd done this 30 hours ago, actually, but have felt helpless to get off of the escalator, so to speak. (wry grin) I'm going to freeze comments for a couple of days on the two previous posts to give the angst-level a chance to subside. If anyone still has something burning to say about those posts, please either address it to me in personal e-mail, or wait a few days (or both). If someone still needs to say it then, by all means reply... I contemplated disabling comments here as well, have left them open, but I'm not going to let myself be drawn back here into the prior discussions.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I'm glad you stopped dragging your heels on this. It was painful to watch the whole exchange, because I care about you and the other parties involved. It concerns me whwn I see you act like that, because I know you're a good person, and I hate seeing you go through upsets like this.

No reply is needed. This is just a 'Thank you' for attempting to de-escalate things.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

Hugs. I know what it is like to feel so hurt by something that I immediately lash out, and my brain stops working properly. Afterwards, I want to crawl under a rock for a few days and never hurt myself or anyone else again. I'm impressed that you've recovered so quickly.

I wonder whether it would be useful for you to mark those posts private.

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

Lots of hugs. This is why I choose not to read those kinds of lj posts. more hugs T

[tshuma]

Good call. Even if there's more discussion to be had in a day or two, taking a step back for a breather can't hurt.

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

*gentle hugs* I want to give you encouragement in this action....it is wise and gently careful.

[rosefox]

Well said, well done.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Thank you for writing this.

I'll pick things back up in email when I'm ready to, but I wanted to publically acknowledge this.

[weirdodragoncat.livejournal.com]

Good for you for owning up to your mistake and making it right.

*hugs*

[griffen.livejournal.com]

Apology accepted.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Am proud of you *hugs*