ext_171619 ([identity profile] mary919.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] jay 2008-03-05 12:47 am (UTC)

She is clearly quite loving and supportive-- you said it yourself. Is she more warm and supportive to her friends online than you are to yours? I don't know any of you at all really-- online a little bit only. I'm just putting the idea out there.

A few weeks ago I ended up alone in a car with a co-worker who was fussing about another co-worker and she said something like this "It's not fair-- he never picks me for projects-- I don't think he even considers me. I hate working with him!!"

And I said, "Is there any chance that he senses your feelings for him and doesn't consider you because of them?" She didn't say much at that point, but came back a few days later and said that what I said had really helped.

She didn't realize it, but she felt very hurt over past slights and took a defensive posture in dealings with him which probably pushed him away before he even had a chance to consider her.

So I'm asking you the hard question-- have you been warm and supportive when these people have posted about concerns of their own? Maybe they don't yet know how to be warm and supportive with you-- but she has taught them how to be warm and supportive with her.

You can de-friend me now if you want :) :) but I would miss reading about your diverse extended family of friends. And the ice skating.

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