Hey Griff-- I tried to reach you in IM to confirm that it would be OK to look at the communication BETWEEN you and Brian (since you have not explicitly given permission for feedback, although Brian essentially has in this particular entry). In the interests of not waiting around for about three days till we catch up with one another, I'm going to go ahead. I am acknowledging here, though, that you haven't asked, and that it might be uncomfortable. I hope that it will be helpful to you, Brian, and anyone else reading, however. Let me know if it's too much, though.
In response to THIS comment, yes, it's difficult for you to see how he has changed at that distance. He HAS changed, though. Others have mentioned fewer and less intense flame wars, and I'll agree. In person, I see even more change. It's not rocket fast, it's not direct, and it's not necessarily without backtracking. But that's true for most folks when they are working on their "stuff." I know it's true for me. :^)
I will also submit that it's difficult for you to see change because of your own filters. You expect him to be a certain way based on past experience, and so you see that. It might be easier to see change if you try to "put on fresh eyes." I also find that wherever I personally have issues, I will be more sensitized to those issues in others. So you may be projecting some of your own stuff onto him as well.
Anyhow, I'm gonna head back up to the top of the thread in a little bit (need to attend to some other stuff first), and make a few comments about where I perceive your interaction went awry. Hope that's OK; please let me know if it's not.
(hugs), and best wishes on the stressful stuff in your own life right now.
Re: *shrug*
I tried to reach you in IM to confirm that it would be OK to look at the communication BETWEEN you and Brian (since you have not explicitly given permission for feedback, although Brian essentially has in this particular entry). In the interests of not waiting around for about three days till we catch up with one another, I'm going to go ahead. I am acknowledging here, though, that you haven't asked, and that it might be uncomfortable. I hope that it will be helpful to you, Brian, and anyone else reading, however. Let me know if it's too much, though.
In response to THIS comment, yes, it's difficult for you to see how he has changed at that distance. He HAS changed, though. Others have mentioned fewer and less intense flame wars, and I'll agree. In person, I see even more change. It's not rocket fast, it's not direct, and it's not necessarily without backtracking. But that's true for most folks when they are working on their "stuff." I know it's true for me. :^)
I will also submit that it's difficult for you to see change because of your own filters. You expect him to be a certain way based on past experience, and so you see that. It might be easier to see change if you try to "put on fresh eyes." I also find that wherever I personally have issues, I will be more sensitized to those issues in others. So you may be projecting some of your own stuff onto him as well.
Anyhow, I'm gonna head back up to the top of the thread in a little bit (need to attend to some other stuff first), and make a few comments about where I perceive your interaction went awry. Hope that's OK; please let me know if it's not.
(hugs), and best wishes on the stressful stuff in your own life right now.