A strange feeling...

[jay]

A sweetie of mine today sent me an email. "...since you don't like to ask for help, I thought I'd ask for some as a way to generate ideas."

And she posted a question. And received a warm and supportive response, from her friends, who naturally assumed that it was something of concern to her. And there were, in fact, some useful ideas there for me.

It's a strange feeling watching the difference in responses over there, though, compared to the kinds of responses, or lack thereof, over here when I ask for advice. I can't help but wonder how it would have been different if I'd directly posted exactly the same question in my own journal. Some people would not have replied, certainly. Others I feel would have been less likely to offer their comments or help. And there's a nagging feeling that I would have been somehow "made to be wrong" or criticized if I'd opened myself up in exactly the same way.

Still, this was a loving and supportive act on my sweetie's part, even if I feel a bit sheepish... would these people have been as helpful if they'd known?

Comments

[thats-ms-dragon.livejournal.com]

I think part of my reaction (you had made this post before I got to the original question post)to how I would react to you asking this question is that I would have some trepidation. There are multiple people in this world, including some of my children, who I resist giving advice to about most things. Sometimes I feel as if it sets me up for a fight in which I am forced to defend my thoughts and point of view while the other person is on the offensive.

In the past, you were one of those people, if not to me, then to others. I enjoy being around you, I enjoy interactions with you, and if you were to ask me personally or let me know that I was on a filter with people you felt were capable of giving you advice, I would be happy to comment. However, general posts in your journal create situations where you might feel attacked by me or others in your journal and that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Now, when I feel like I am "less than" and "not worth it" I go online and find a poem or prayer that reaffirms my self-worth. Then I print it out and read it every day before I leave my house for the day. After a while, it really becomes internalized. It helps. :) (hugs)

Something I wrote several years ago that might show what I am talking about http://thats-ms-dragon.livejournal.com/86874.html