This is a great conversation, and I am glad you brought it up. I'm working on my own relationship glossary.
I'm touch-focused in many ways, but I can also make very strong connections purely through books, music, conversation. Moreover, I have somewhat unusual sexual tastes and emotional history; finding someone whose desires and emotions are compatible with mine is a rare event. So my decision not to sleep with someone is in no way a rejection of them for me. Also, although I hug people, I rarely cuddle with anyone who isn't already an intimate.
Being sexually touched by strangers or those I don't trust is a huge trigger for me. But it isn't the only reason I keep my hands to myself. Incompatibility of desires or relationship styles, existing relationship commitments, lack of time, lack of emotional energy -- they all are factors.
A question for you: all the people you don't become sexually involved with -- do you feel you are rejecting them?
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I'm touch-focused in many ways, but I can also make very strong connections purely through books, music, conversation. Moreover, I have somewhat unusual sexual tastes and emotional history; finding someone whose desires and emotions are compatible with mine is a rare event. So my decision not to sleep with someone is in no way a rejection of them for me. Also, although I hug people, I rarely cuddle with anyone who isn't already an intimate.
Being sexually touched by strangers or those I don't trust is a huge trigger for me. But it isn't the only reason I keep my hands to myself. Incompatibility of desires or relationship styles, existing relationship commitments, lack of time, lack of emotional energy -- they all are factors.
A question for you: all the people you don't become sexually involved with -- do you feel you are rejecting them?