Crash...

[jay]

Sigh. I'm an idiot, sometimes, and should have known better. I was an idiot on Thursday and Friday, likewise at the PPP, and again today. Time to take out my general frustration by ripping out the kitchen pantry (home-renovation work). Hopefully I won't cut off any fingers, given the way everything else has gone.

I'll be so glad when this long weekend is over.... work looks ever-more attractive.

Comments

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

Brian, in what way were you an idiot at the PPP. I noticed you in many conversations in some you seemed to be smiling. My only interaction with you was very brief and you were just fine. I wish we had made more of an opportunity to chat. The onis for that one is on me. Im looking forward to lunch on fri. big hugs teri

[geekchick]

Dare I even ask? *hug*

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

You are not an idiot. It was not your fault. *hugs*

[brooksmoses]

Seconded.

I can see how it was my fault for not checking to make sure that I had the right email address to send things to you, and not taking appropriate measures in reaction to the fact that I didn't hear confirmation back from you. And I give you my apologies for that....

I can't see how it was at all your fault. You made an effort to help a friend, and communication lines got crossed and misrouted and it didn't end up being necessary, but you weren't an idiot for making the effort.

- Brooks

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you feel that way, Brian. I hope you can resolve these feelings soon. You're worth much more than how you seem to be viewing yourself at the moment.

*hugs*

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Well... Thursday and Friday fighting with patgreene... injuring my knee Saturday lugging 21-inch CRTs up and down stairs... miscommunication with Pat at the PPP... clumsy interactions with others at the PPP... and the airport comedy-of-errors this afternoon. At least the kitchen pantry was removed and reinstalled elsewhere without missing fingers.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Ah, but now I expect to hear a chorus of "I told you so..." from various folks for having volunteered in the first place. ("After all, she said on alt.poly that she isn't even a friend of yours!" sigh... here we go again...)

I don't accept blame for the communications foul-up, itself... especially after both shadopanther and hopeforyou called, emailed and SMS'd me four times yesterday morning to remind me to go pick up clairaide.

If her partners don't know what's going on, I'm hardly going to blame myself. The muttered "idiot" remark to myself is for leaving myself exposed to outside criticism by volunteering in the first place...

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks -- it was my internal dialogue, leaking out after a particularly frustrating weekend. Nothing I touched seemed to come out OK. But today should be better :-).

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hmm... I was not good at reading signs. I lingered with some people longer than they would have liked (sorry, dawnd!), misread other signals to socialize or not, had several long blank pauses in conversation, completely lost Troy once while talking in the pool, was perhaps overly cuddly with runeshower (she didn't complain, but...) and didn't check in enough with patgreene. Drifted isolated and lonely at times... And was slightly lost as to how to react around hopeforyou, given the circumstances. And I didn't get to talk with you much.

And the babysitter allowed David out of the house to get food... now I'm wondering what he's going to say to his special-ed therapist this week.