Lent poll results

[jay]

And the winner is: "List at least one good thing about myself each day." I'll grit my teeth and do a list of 10 this weekend, to catch up... this, and the "ask others for things" were the two suggestions that I most dreaded, actually. Giving up sex for six weeks... that happens unprompted at times. Likewise with sweets and more exercise and volunteering. But it was others' choice... and you collectively picked something very hard. Okay.

Comments

*evil chuckle*

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

I suspect this will be very very good for you. MUCH better than giving up sex, sweets, or other (for you) silly and unnecessary self-denials (though I admire patgreene's vow to go without TV-type screen time--that's something most of us in this society could benefit from at least occasionally!).

Will this be a list that you are publicizing, or are you keeping it private? I'd be interested to see what you come up with, but conversely, I can imagine that it might be a bit too challenging and feel a bit self-aggrandizing to publish a list of good things about oneself. (I don't think it *is*, BTW, but I can see that it might FEEL that way!)

In any case, kudos for following through with this, despite the difficulty. Go you!

Re: *evil chuckle*

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... it feels both a bit self-aggrandizing, and "why would anyone else be interested"? That's also why my LJ biography is just a magazine article reference... But as this was selected by my friends, if their feedback is that they think I should list these things periodically (on LJ, probably) then I'll do it that way. (wan smile) If I'm asked, then I can't second-guess myself for bragging... and thanks for the feedback!

Re: *evil chuckle*

[griffen.livejournal.com]

My feedback is that you post your lists of what's good about yourself. *smiles*

[mhw.livejournal.com]

That was the basis for the way I voted. 'Giving up' - particularly something that isn't per se harmful, like sweets or sex - always strikes me as 1) rather easy and 2) essentially masochistic (and not in the good sense). It's much harder, I find, to have to do something positive for myself.

I gave up abstinence years ago, and I think it's done me good :D

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I'd rather do something positive for others/someone else, as I believe that others deserve it more. And I can justify self-denial (sweets, sex, etc.) easily by telling myself that I'm not worthy of those pleasures, or haven't earned them. I can't easily justify doing myself favors, or making myself look good in other's eyes, except for work-related justifications.

[ag-unicorn.livejournal.com]

Chiming in late, here...

I'd rather do something positive for others/someone else, as I believe that others deserve it more. And I can justify self-denial (sweets, sex, etc.) easily by telling myself that I'm not worthy of those pleasures, or haven't earned them.

Interesting thought, here...

I used to have a similar mindset re: myself; i.e. I wasn't "good enough" to deserve the good things that others do for me...and everyone else is so much better than I am that they deserve the good things that I might otherwise bestow upon myself far more than I.

Then, I had a moment of muddledness in which I asked myself:

"But what if I'm wrong?"

Essentially, it boiled down to (in my mind) the concept that I might be denying myself all sorts of wonderful things in life (love, happiness, the guilt-free acquisition of Twizzlers Strawberry Twists on a routine basis) because I didn't feel that I was "good enough" to be allowed those things...and it occurred to me that I might be wrong in this belief that I wasn't "good enough".

So, I experimented, and found out that yes, I had been incorrect. Mea culpa. :)

Now, I do good things for other people because I find that I enjoy doing for them, and they enjoy having done for them...and allocate myself good things as well (perhaps less often, but then I'm still learning!).

And I've learned to appreciate having good things done to/for me by others; that's been the hardest to learn.

Looking forward to seeing what you might find out about yourself, by the way, provided that you share. :)

For what it's worth

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I respect the way you're handling this. It's challenging on more than one level, and you're stepping up to the plate. Go you.

Re: For what it's worth

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

*blush* Thanks! I'm trying to stay open, and encouragement has helped :-)

Re: For what it's worth

[trinker.livejournal.com]

If you don't mind sharing, I'm quite interested in seeing how this goes for you. And I have a few things in mind as good things about you, from what I've seen.

[griffen.livejournal.com]

I'm already proud of you, Brian. :)

[greeklady.livejournal.com]

Where is this giving up sex for 6 weeks comming from? Not saying it isn't a bad idea but... Being married and being in other physical relationships... don't you think they should have some sort of impact on a vow like that?

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Had that suggestion gotten the most votes last week, I'd already discussed it with patgreene, geekchick and Nancy. Pat and I only average a couple of times per month, and since the latter two are LDRs, they're used to going months without a cuddle. And no one else would be likely to care about my lack of availability in that sense, so it wasn't going to be a problem. Now moot, in any case :-).

[geekchick]

So how's that going, eh?

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

At roughly the halfway point, I'm a week behind... do you think I should post them so far?

[geekchick]

Can't speak for anyone else, but I'd like to see what you've come up with so far. Post or email if you feel like sharing.