Getting soft...

[jay]

Feh. Once upon a time, I frequented Usenet and local mailing lists, was involved in various discussions, and knew how to defend myself. Ideas were filtered several times before posting. Weaknesses were studied, anticipating possible challenges or lines-of-attack. Nits that could be seized on by net.nuisances were carefully combed out, especially spelling. Statements were personally qualified to avoid generalizations, sometimes redundantly-so in the same sentence.

Then came LJ... and I've gotten soft, and sloppy. Not on my toes, not as careful about attack-angles or spelling (or missing clauses!). After all, the folks on one's LJ reader list are called friends, and they tend to be a bit more sympathetic, supportive and are self-selected.

But on Usenet and broad mailing lists, it's still harsh out there... not only are the random readers not my friends, they may be overtly hostile, looking for opportunities to throw scorn and snideness in my direction. I've re-learned this the hard way over the past week or so. If I'm going to spend significant time and energy in those forums, I have to get back in my older, harder mindset.

Comments

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

Brian,
I just spent some time scanning Sfbay poly digest and not reading a bunch of stuff because it stopped being thoughts and became a flame war. and filled with personal attacks. There are better things to discuss. The delete key is my friend. QTIP. (dont take it personally) The flip side of QTIP is if there is an opportunity to grow based on what someone said run with it, if it is an oportunity to beat yourself up Qtip. Hugs T

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I *really* doubt that those folks on sfbay-poly are actually interested in my personal growth... thanks.

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

True. But as serenejournal said above (and very well), YOU can turn this into an opportunity for growth within yourself, whether or not THEY are interested in your growth. It's always your choice. And it's equally your choice to ingore them, refuse to frequent fora where you get flamed, or to engage in the flames yourself.

[geekchick]

I was going to say something very similar to what dawnd said, but now I'll just add "Yeah, that."

Brian, I do very much believe that as you encourage other people to register objections and then let things drop, you should probably seriously consider doing the same. If you think someone is consistently baiting you, drop them in a killfile and be done with it. Much heart[ache|burn] could probably be avoided all around if you would do something like that.