Not bad or good... chaotic
Tonight's PPP was pretty good, rather chaotic for me with good and bad moments. Thanks to ![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mikz for being there and talking as soon as I arrived in the pool... that helped me ice-break and enjoy the rest of the evening more than otherwise. The rest of HD was there, and I was glad to see them... even if I'm still annoyed at one of them for something zie said (that pushed one of my buttons, hugely)... maybe I should start calling myself Jay again, in these circles. Confusing. Chaotic.
I wandered a bit less than I would have liked (didn't arrive until 10:20pm), but spent lots of time withoakdragon, runeshower, ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
redhawke, phoenixrisen and grynz. One of them gave me a pleasantly-unexpected kiss, near the end :-). Confusing. Conversely, I missed spending much time with dawnd or akienm, except in passing during cleanup afterwards, and only got to wave to mactavish as she was leaving, just after I arrived. A bit chaotic.
The weather cooperated... it cooled down, and the pool temperature was a bit lower than at some past parties. And others liked my strawberries with chocolate sauce and whipped cream, it all disappeared :-).
I think I've come to the conclusion that I have no idea who is attracted or interested in me, personally... people that I think might be interested, then do or say something to the contrary. People that I'm pretty sure are indifferent, or just-friends at best, surprise me with affectionate gestures. I'm just confused, now. Nothing correlates, it's all chaotic. Time to sleep.
mikz for being there and talking as soon as I arrived in the pool... that helped me ice-break and enjoy the rest of the evening more than otherwise. The rest of HD was there, and I was glad to see them... even if I'm still annoyed at one of them for something zie said (that pushed one of my buttons, hugely)... maybe I should start calling myself Jay again, in these circles. Confusing. Chaotic.I wandered a bit less than I would have liked (didn't arrive until 10:20pm), but spent lots of time with
oakdragon, runeshower, redhawke, phoenixrisen and grynz. One of them gave me a pleasantly-unexpected kiss, near the end :-). Confusing. Conversely, I missed spending much time with dawnd or akienm, except in passing during cleanup afterwards, and only got to wave to mactavish as she was leaving, just after I arrived. A bit chaotic. The weather cooperated... it cooled down, and the pool temperature was a bit lower than at some past parties. And others liked my strawberries with chocolate sauce and whipped cream, it all disappeared :-).
I think I've come to the conclusion that I have no idea who is attracted or interested in me, personally... people that I think might be interested, then do or say something to the contrary. People that I'm pretty sure are indifferent, or just-friends at best, surprise me with affectionate gestures. I'm just confused, now. Nothing correlates, it's all chaotic. Time to sleep.