Trivia uber alles?

[jay]

It's past 2am... it is hard to believe that I've had a 20-comment discussion in my journal this evening (filtered) that is apparently about the appropriateness of using "IMO" vs "IME" in a comment that I posted elsewhere. That's just silly. No disclaimer here. That's the sort of empty thrashing that causes me to wonder about the value of the medium... it sidesteps the actual content of the message, instead picking at communication style.

Comments

[hopeforyou.livejournal.com]

I think there are ways to use this medium that work, and ways that don't.

I've largely been staying out of such discussions because they seem to require more time and energy than I have and I have been preferring to discuss things in person lately or (the shock! the horror!) the phone. This from someone whom hardly used to call anyone.

My question for this moment is why do some discussions become contentious while others do not? I wonder if there is some formula for avoiding that and making progress -- that is, learning something from the exchange without anyone feeling like walking away to lick their wounds.