(no subject)

[jay]

Grrr. My FAA colleagues have finally rescheduled the aviation information management meeting with Defense and Homeland Security... for 11/20, in Washington, DC. The week before the Thanksgiving holiday, but that's James's birthday. Sigh. patgreene is furious and wants me to quit. I *so* did not need this, this week.

Off to glue on a smiley-face and play host to 30 people at work, all day...

Comments

[ame-chan.livejournal.com]

hey brian :-)

speaking as a wife who's husband is married to his job, I empathize that you must feel like you're between a rock and a hard place and I know that's an incredibly difficult place to be in.

I know that when Mac is on deadline or away from home a lot, it is SO important to me that he make the extra effort to stay connected, re-connect, spend special time with me, etc., when he is home. If he doesn't, I get pissed off, fast. I also notice that when he's the most stressed at work due to time issues, those are the times he starts spending all his free hours on the playstation or computer and we drift apart even farther. It's a good idea to set a timer and make an agreement about time together/time spent decompressing at those times. It's helped us.

It's no fun to feel like a single mom, when you have a partner and believe me, when you've been on your own with the kids so much due to the husband's job, you begin to resent it. Even the fact that there is a steady paycheck doesn't alleviate it all the way, or even a little. It's way stressful and Pat has a lot on her shoulders when you are gone.

If you can't get out of this travel commitment, I'd suggest coming up with an alternative strategy to make some time with her and the kids to celebrate the birthday. Take the initiative on it, discuss it with her and work with her to make this situation ok for both of you.

Speaking also as a mom and wife, it'd be neat if you buy her a massage and day spa package and take the kids for a day when you get back so she can go be pampered. Show her how much you appreciate her hard work and commitment to supporting you in your job.

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

*points*

She is SMART. Listen to her!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

like you're between a rock and a hard place

yes... sometimes, it's awful. Who do I disappoint? Who gets hurt? What are the negative repercussions, and how long-lasting?

he make the extra effort to stay connected, re-connect, spend special time with me, etc., when he is home.

I've screwed up there, this time... I got home and then immediately plunged back into work. No special effort, if anything I was preoccupied elsewhere. Sigh. And likewise, if I'm stressed and looking for decompression, hanging out with an angry, pissed-off partner isn't a strong draw, and I tend to retreat when I do get home. Maybe delimiting it, like you suggest, would help.

Times like this, I wish Pat had a local sweetie that could distract her while I was less available... I still think that sending her to Washington, DC (LDR) for a long weekend might be a good idea :-).