(grumbles)

[jay]

My back still hurts, so I'm off to a chiropractor tomorrow. Lots of ibuprofen has left my stomach sore. And the crown of my head is blistered (AK removal, with liquid nitrogen) and both of my feet are blistered (plantar warts being likewise frozen with repeated applications of LN2). So I'm sore in several places, and generally grumpy, so if I've failed to respond to comments or email promptly, please forgive me.

Today was David's annual Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting, at 7:30am this morning before school. At the end of last year, he was moved from a mainstream class to a special day class, supposedly because he wouldn't be able to handle the lack of adult attention in a 32-student fourth-grade classroom. Instead, bundled into a classroom with eleven same-aged children operating at academic levels one or two years younger, he has complained of boredom. And excessive noise. And lately, over the past few weeks, both his school performance and behavior have deteriorated. On our part, we've been asked to dress him in longer clothes (he's outgrowing his older things, and likes to hide underneath his shirt) and ask him to not loudly discuss bodily functions in public. The latter reduced patgreene to tears, and she went through the day in a black hole of depression, berating herself as a bad mother.

I feel that those were smokescreen issues -- they kept us, the parents, off-balance while allowing the teacher and school administration to dodge the salient issues. Which to me are that David is not being adequately challenged in school, or adequately supported in his classroom.

Comments

[sonicsuperslide.livejournal.com]

hope your back feels better.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Maybe tomorrow.

[sonicsuperslide.livejournal.com]

i hope so...dont need to feel sick. *hugs*

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

Brian, as a fellow parent of a kid with an IEP, my response to this paragraph "I feel that those were smokescreen issues -- they kept us, the parents, off-balance while allowing the teacher and school administration to dodge the salient issues. Which to me are that David is not being adequately challenged in school, or adequately supported in his classroom. " Is be a squeaky wheel. Tell them you feel like they missed the more important issues. and those iussues are listed above. hope this helps T

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

We have another chance at his parent-teacher conference in 2 weeks (the principal and resource specialist will be there, too). If things don't begin improving soon, I'll happily call another IEP in six weeks.

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

Brian, don't wait to call an IEP. do it now. If you think david isnt getting what he needs right now, waiting will not make that better.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Well... this IEP isn't actually over yet, it is being finished in two weeks at the conference. Then I can call another.

David

[(Anonymous)]

Please e-mail me sizes. Also stick to your guns with the teachers. I remember how bored you would get when not challenged properly. Of course you never "acted up". I e-mailed you the other day for Christmas information. When are you coming etc. Also sized and hints about what the boys interests are concerning gifts. Please take care of your back. I didn't realize you were have dermatology issues. Tell Pat she is doing a fine job. Raising sons in this day and time is a tremendous undertaking. Take care.

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

I was a goody-two-shoes in my childhood, and I even I 'acted up' when I wasn't challenged. My parents had a constant battle with my teachers - and I could mostly solve my own problems by reading ahead in the textbook! (or the next textbook...)

So, I'm with the 'squeaky wheel' advice.

I've just come off my ibuprofen, partly to avoid making my stomach sore after two weeks taking it constantly. I was also starting to have trouble remembering to take it straight after meals - a sure sign that my knee wasn't sore enough to need it!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Which reminds me to ask you how the knee is progressing... are you in physical therapy?

[griffen.livejournal.com]

Be that squeaky wheel, dude. Don't let them put you off-balance or try to hide from the real issues. Demand that they face what's really important.

Hugs to you and Pat and the boys, all.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

What really pisses me is that they apply these techniques to *Pat*, playing off of her own insecurities. That takes her out of the meeting, leaving me alone in dealing with the school's six people. Divide-and-conquer.

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Oy. Hope your back is better soon. If the IB is hurting you, try something else? Naproxen Sodium, perhaps?

Your tales of IEPs are not cheering me, as we approach our own CST meeting next week. *sigh* Well, I will continue to hope that this will be a good thing, overall.

As to loudly discussing bodily functions in public--He's a BOY. That's what boys DO. Have these adults never heard of Garbage Pail kids and other gross entertainments of the under-12 set? And for goshsakes OF COURSE he's BORED! He's not STUPID--he's got OTHER challenges. *sigh* And bored kids will act out. It's a very simple equation, really--how can they not see this?

Good luck.

*hugs* to both you and Pat.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

As to loudly discussing bodily functions in public--He's a BOY. That's what boys DO. Have these adults never heard of Garbage Pail kids and other gross entertainments of the under-12 set?

Yes, exactly. By all means, ask him not to, but that's absolutely normal behavior, in my experience. (It's not just boys, really, but it gets more peer-encouragement and reinforcement among boys, and so it's more prevalent in boys.)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I don't think he's obsessed, per se. But the resource specialist chiding Pat that this was a sign of bad childrearing... *and* adding that "David also has more gas than other kids" was just over the line IMO... patgreene then broke down in tears.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Pish-tosh.

It's not a sign of bad child-rearing; it's a perfectly normal phase.

As to whether he has more gas than other children, there are three options, and I have no idea which is likeliest:
1) They're making it up/they notice more/he's making a bigger deal of it than other children/other children make a bigger deal about it -- in other words, it's a perceived problem, but not one a neutral observer could detect.
2) Many boys seem to acquire a skill of burping on command; perhaps he's developed a similar skill of farting on command. This would be a behavior issue in need of addressing.
3) It's an actual physiological issue, which could be addressed through dietary changes -- in this case, you'd probably notice it at home, too.

In any case, it's something to be addressed tactfully, not confrontationally, both in them bringing it up with you and you bringing it up with him. Which it certainly doesn't sound like the specialist did.

Good luck getting an appropriate system in place for him!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks, the back is much better after a chiropractor visit yesterday. Hopefully the CST meeting will be less adversarial... it only ratchets-up over time, if the situation isn't working for the child *and* the likely remedies are expensive for the district.