Apologies

[jay]

I've been generally whiny and cranky this week. There are extenuating circumstances -- the resurfacing emotions from the abuse discussion last week left me feeling like I was back there 20 years ago again, feeling isolated and worthless and blaming myself and others. And I was simultaneously trying to both cover patgreene's job and work overtime at my own, getting harangued by JL and others while trying to readjust to being back in civilization.

But... that's all my problem. Doesn't justify snarkiness or rude behaviors on my part. Or self-bashing, either. Especially since if I'd just asked for help early on, I think I could have caught myself... after therapy yesterday, and then talking things through today with several people (thanks to dawnd, purplerabbit and geekchick!) I have a better grip on things and feel manifestly better. Should have reached out sooner... one slightly bright side is that this kind of headspace used to be the week-by-week default for me, rather than a bad week.

Anyway, I'm sorry (to those affected) for generally being a pain in the backside this week... (slight grimace).

Comments

[coyote3502.livejournal.com]

Been there, done that, scars to prove it. All is well. Have a good vacation (BTW, Wine & Song is tonight, not tommorrow) and come see us when you get back and we're in the new place.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm likely home packing tonight (leaving in the morning) but would happily come see you guys in the new place, later on... good luck in the move.

[hopeforyou.livejournal.com]

I forgive you. I just wish you could ask for help sooner. Is there any thing you think you could do differently next time under similar circumstances?

Sometimes when you are self-bashing I worry about you. It isn't that different from the depressive headspace I've had during the past year, and I don't want you to go there.

*hugs*