near miss

[jay]

No accidents enroute to work... it was close, though. On the onramp to 101, some bozo in a Mitsubishi compact with a huge rear spoiler pulled on to the closed left lane (construction) in order to cut in front of me and another car. Since this was clearly both disrespectful and a boundary violation, I responded by accelerating on to the shoulder and then cutting in in front of him at an angle such that he either had to let me in or lose his front bumper. As we traded one-fingered salutes while merging on to the freeway, I nearly tail-ended someone else backed-up from the 85 onramp... stopped just inches short. My right calf is still sore... but the Mitsubishi driver gave me a wide berth afterwards. Boundaries... enforced. :)

Comments

[archway.livejournal.com]

~WINCES!~ Yikes!!!!

[purplecthulhu.livejournal.com]

Is it really worthwhile putting your own life, and those of innocent bystanders, in danger to inconvenience someone being an idiot? If this had happened in the UK and there had been an accident, I think you and the Mitsubishi driver would both have been guilty of 'dangerous driving' or at least 'driving without due care and attention'. While the Mitsubishi driver should be more seriously penalised, you're not exactly guiltfree yourself.

Whatever happened to 'turn the other cheek'?

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

My own life... arguably yes, but not random bystanders. Although I wasn't going fast enough to have seriously injured anyone, IMO.

[geekchick]

Boundaries... enforced. :)

Um. Yeah. You're really lucky you didn't slam into the back of the stopped car; was the risk of injury and damage to two vehicles really worth not letting someone cut in front of you? C. behaves the same way when driving, and it makes me absolutely insane (especially since it's usually done in my car).

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Especially since the vehicle he would have rear-ended would have been an innocent bystander, so to speak.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Yes, and I was willing to damage his vehicle if he hadn't yielded in turn. But you're right about the stopped car.

As far as doing so in *your* car... ouch. That's really risky, as you don't have comparable mass or the horsepower to drive more assertively. That Mitsubishi could probably outrun your Mazda, even with the drag of the former's decals and ridiculous giant rear spoiler...

[geekchick]

Yes, the Lancer (I assume that's what it was) could easily outrun my car. I have a family sedan, not anything that even remotely resembles a sports car.

Yes, and I was willing to damage his vehicle if he hadn't yielded in turn.

Honestly? This statement scares me. It is not worth damaging your car, taking the financial hit that your newly-exorbitant insurance premiums would cause (as I can see pretty much no way you'd *not* be at fault for driving on the shoulder and cutting in to traffic in a travel lane to force someone else to stop, much less rear-ending a stopped car), possibly injuring yourself and the other driver, and generally behaving like every bit as big an asshole as the guy who cut you off just because you're cranky that some jerk cut in front of you.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I firmly believe that the reason people like that Mitsubishi driver do what they do is that (most) people let them.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Anyone that tries to bully me or push me around, in any context, automatically triggers a Pyrrhic reflex on my part... I'm willing to take risks if I can take the bully down with me.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Yes, but you seem to be running this equation with the assumption that you're entirely a free agent, without other responsibilities. By my count you have concurrent responsibilities to your family, your projects and staff, and your sweeties -- all of whom are affected if your action does not go as you envision. Is that risk really worth it, measured with these other factors?

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

If someone attacks me, I'm not going to just absorb it, even if that would logically be the financially and otherwise most-optimal path...

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Coming at this from another angle.

You can deal with it like a judoka, and deflect the aggression; or you can deal with it in a more classic Western style, by confronting and meeting with equal opposing force.

This is not an either/or proposition.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Also...I still see this as you saying, "I weigh resisting attack and countering with force to be more important than my other obligations."

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

It's a core self-respect, self-protective response, IMO... not being a victim anymore.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

If you were single, and employed in a position of less responsibility, I'd be more supportive of your actions to bolster your self-respect. I continue to suggest that you're using a flawed metric, here.

*SELF* protection trumping the responsibilities you have--I agree with "affix your own oxygen mask before aiding others", but there has to be a balance.

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

I understand why you did what you did. I agree with cjsmith that they get away with it so they can and do. But honestly, I can't agree with your going ahead and doing it. As others said, what if you hadn't gotten stopped.

A car pulled in front of me last night with no signal, doing high speed, after cutting across a lane and she was aiming for the lane past me. I slammed on the brakes and hit the horn and flashed my light at her. The next time she changed lanes she did it slower and with her blinker.

I didn't do what I wanted to, which was to follow her and cut her off. To yell obscenities and throw up the finger.

Why? Because of what could have happened to me and others if I had done so.

Be careful of your anger, my friend. It is good to acknowledge it but be careful how you carry it out. I wouldn't want to see you hurt or others hurt because another incited you to angry behaviors that you wouldn't do in a saner moment.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Risking myself is OK under those circumstances, and I had no passengers. But not managing speed well enough to catch the backup sooner... that was a bad idea.

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

I fully understand the motivation to act as you did - one major reason why I train in aikido is to have viable options when I am in a situation like this (the car-free versions, in the main). But I strongly disagree that you have the freedom to risk yourself like this - if nothing else, your children need you alive more than they need your boundaries reinforced.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

What if it had been a mugger, instead?

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

I am glad to know that both you and your boundaries are intact.

In lots of ways.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you weren't hurt. I find that giving assholes lots of room -- widening boundaries by moving away when needed -- helps me feel safer.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(grin) I didn't want to feel safer, myself... I wanted the other guy to feel *unsafe* and to behave himself.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Well then, I hope the person you almost rear-ended didn't feel unsafe, and I'm glad s/he wasn't hurt.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

Whoa....

[vokzal.livejournal.com]

Instead of increasing certain personal danger, use your horn. Some would argue this is also dangerous, but its my perferred method.

Re: Whoa....

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

eh. Guys like that one just ignore horns and shouted obscenities... I'd rather leave them needing a potential change of underwear. ;)

[trinker.livejournal.com]

It's not my place to chastise you, but if one of my partners had reported this to me, I'd be really angry -- partly out of delayed fear, but mostly out of "that was reckless, and insufficiently mindful of the moment past the one you were in".

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Some offenses are IMO worth the risk of retaliation, even given future negative possibilities. But the traffic backup near-miss was reckless for no good reason.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

See my response above.