jay: (Default)
jay ([personal profile] jay) wrote2005-03-12 03:05 am

sigh... a social trap

I've been emotionally fragile, even occasionally prone to a few tears since last weekend... so perhaps going to a large social gathering wasn't such a good idea tonight. But James wanted to see A...

I found myself in the trap tonight whereby I feel like no one really likes me or cares that I'm there, so I'm too afraid of rejection to approach anyone, which gives others the impression that I want to be left alone when in reality I need a few hugs or a shoulder. Instead, others heed the apparent "stay-away" vibes and then I feel even more unliked and uninteresting. Rinse. lather, repeat. Sigh. These are my feelings, no one else is responsible for them, but it still makes for a difficult evening.

[identity profile] tenacious-snail.livejournal.com 2005-03-13 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
and I'm feeling uber-snuggled and happy, contentedly basking in your love. Maybe we need to trade places sometime? I really had *nod* idea that what was intended as affection towards you would have the effect of deflecting what you needed from you. Sigh...and with the best of intentions, too.