feeling down...

[jay]

Yesterday was productive, so why am I this far down? I finished the drilling paper and sent it off for review, and assembled and packed and shipped three huge duffels-worth of IP phones and a rock hammer and fleeces and Gore-tex and a tent... enough for me, as well as extras for Julie if she happens to be called-up to help cook there on Devon Island. And including little items, like gloves from patgreene, one of tenacious_snail's heavy shirts, or vitamin supplements from Nancy. And FedEx tracking shows that all three made it safely to Ottawa overnight, positioned to be shipped to Resolute.

I scrambled... got the paper completed and sent in... left work at 5:30pm, after being there until 3am the night before. Had had a nice lunch with p3aches and her baby.

But was late getting to Berkeley to meet Julie. Dinner was a bit awkward, as Julie and I hadn't seen each other since March, but OK. We went to Wine and Song... it was fun to introduce Julie to my friends there. But it was running late, there was an undercurrent of stress, and finally both Julie and Les had to leave early. Julie dropped me at my car in Berkeley, then I had a tense, distant hour with Les before finally returning to W&S to pick up James there.

This morning... I feel down. Unenthusiastic about anything, a bit hung over, feeling unwanted and useless. Squabbling with Pascal by email to Edmonton, where he is now. Maybe I had too many expectations for last night... I rarely get two sweeties together under the same roof at the same time.

Off to a friend's ordination, this morning...

Comments

[joelzero.livejournal.com]

Were they angry at you? What physically observed data (aka could've been videotaped) do you have of this? You seem to be very hard on yourself and may be assuming that others will be hard on you as well.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Well, at one point last night I was sitting at the Choirloft near the kitchen, and they were standing 90 degrees apart glaring down at me... And tenacious_snail was alternately angry and crying, back at her place, for an hour or so.

With all due respect, I'm not imagining her tears or Julie's earlier unease....

[princeofwands.livejournal.com]

To joelzero's credit, rather than taking his comment as an accusation that you were misreading events as they occured, perhaps it might be read as a non-invasive attempt at normalizing the discussion -- much like asking "how do you know they had this reaction", but without the overloaded implied prying for the specific details.