spouse fall down, go boom

[jay]

Last night patgreene tripped on the living room rug and fell down hard on her left knee, twisting and hyper-extending it. As well as breaking the glass she was holding and bruising her wrist. Her doctor this afternoon said he thought it was a torn ligament and would be acutely painful to walk for 2 weeks, and take 6 weeks to be mostly healed. Pat will need an MRI session this week to confirm that it isn't worse than that.

This leaves me frantically trying to get things caught up after the Arctic, no time to adjust, trying to get things together for Spain in 3+ weeks, and having to run back and forth between the office and home several times a day to take care of Pat and the kids. The latter are chafing, stuck at home, but there's not much I can do there. Likewise WRT food, there will have to be a lot of McDonald's over the next couple of weeks. Sigh. So much for a chance to catch my breath before plunging in... hopefully the MRI won't show something worse, I don't know how I'd manage to support everyone if Pat had to have surgery and was on crutches for two months.

Comments

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

Eep!! I hope that patgreene recovers quickly!!

I don't know you guys very well... but I'm not too far away, and would be happy to help out any way that I can.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks... I'm going to see how she develops.

[rosefox]

Yikes! I really hope the damage is minimal and she'll be back on her feet soon.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

She's hobbling now, but in some pain. Thanks. :)

[ame-chan.livejournal.com]

Well I rather imagine that you'll support everyone just the way Pat does when you're gone for weeks at a time, ya know? It can't be that much different, and you at least have the benefit of a spouse who is present if not particularly mobile.

Hope she's up and around soon and y'all get some breathing room.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(nods) When I'm gone, Pat's not trying to also do my NASA job in my absence... thanks for the good wishes.

[dangerpudding.livejournal.com]

I don't know how I'd manage to support everyone if Pat had to have surgery and was on crutches for two months.

You wouldn't. Not single-handedly. I have a feeling that it would be a lesson in what community can mean.

If you need a hand with the kids, let me know. I can cook, am happy to take them on an afternoon adventure sometime this week, and so on. I even have a Great America pass. Heck, I even do laundry, if it comes down to it.

Also, if needed, I bet we could cut down your time in Spain some, with some fussing. And before we leave, while there is a lot to do, Pat and the kiddos come first - you know that, right? - and you getting sleep and rest a close second - you know that, too, right?

It'll all work out. Nobody's going to die, nobody's going to jail.

[vokzal.livejournal.com]

Well, need a drop-in au pair? I'm free tommorrow and could maybe negotiate for Thurs/Fri. I'm usually free for the first half of the week.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Pat seems intimidated by the prospect of anyone coming over, given the current level of household messiness... a bit of a catch-22, IMO. Although she could probably use a hand.

Free Advice (tm)

[hedgehog8000.livejournal.com]

Stop. Breathe. (And I know from personal experience this one can be VERY difficult) Ask for help.

Re: Free Advice (tm)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

You're right... any prospects of being dependent, even briefly, are scary.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

You do NOT have to do this all yourself. Take up some of the offers. Send someone out to Great America, the beach or the movies with your kids. Or even a subset of your kids. It WILL work. Just let other people help.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Getting someone out with the kids would be good... this would be easier if school were in session.

[simplykimberly.livejournal.com]

Can I make a lasagna or two and bring it down there when I bring my grampa home at the end of the week (to Palo Alto)?

Or something else, if that isn't what you all will eat.

Let me know!

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

I'm also happy to cook something to bring to y'all, Brian - we've got a ton of leftovers here. Let me know what your family doesn't eat (by way of dislikes and allergies and such) and I'll make something that doesn't include those things.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Apart from mushroom allergies on my part... Pat's an omnivore, but James and David eat very simple things... baked potatoes, macaroni and cheese, etc.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Could you send me your address backchannel, as well as a phone number where Pat can be reached to coordinate dropping-by times? Thanks!

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

If you've got any sandwich-making leftovers, that might be really nice, as it is stuff that the kids can make themselves for lunch.

Also, maybe you could twist arms into taking D & K geocaching-- I bet Kevin would love it. And James would love you for taking them out of the house. They live fairly near C&E, too.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Good ideas both. For the geocaching, would you be willing to come along, Les? The boys know you, and they don't know me, so it would be good to have a familiar adult along.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

totally willing to, though my work schedule is more restrictive than brian1789's. This week, I'm even working on Saturday.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Let's compare calendars when next we see each other, which likely will be tomorrow evening.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

On the weekend, I could also possibly come along, giving Pat some quiet time to rest at home.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

That'd be nice, if mushroom- and spinach-free... thanks.

[simplykimberly.livejournal.com]

Where can I drop this off on Friday, mid-day? :) And do you have freezer space for two? (not positive I'll be able to do that, but it's a possibility if you have the space)

((hugs)) it'll be ok!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

sent separately by email...

[simplykimberly.livejournal.com]

You were correct in assuming that the water break changed things yesterday - ugh! I didn't end up doing anything in the kitchen other than messing it up, and then not being able to clean it (no water!)

I am still quite happy to make and get a lasagna (or two? do you have have space?) to you over the weekend, if that can be arranged. Is there any chance that anyone from up here might be intersecting with anyone from down there? If not, and it's still useful, I think my sister will be in Palo Alto early next week and perhaps that can be useful in some way!

((hugs))

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks. (hug)

Don't worry about it, you've got your hands full with mud ;). And I can cover the weekend. If patgreene goes in for surgery, I would be grateful for help around then.

[simplykimberly.livejournal.com]

heh ... if it weren't so unsafe, I'd suggest bringing the younger boys here to play in the mud, with my David ;) He's dying to jump in the hole and play hiding games, etc...

It's a LOT of mud!

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Yikes, and many hugs to Pat, and good luck with all this.

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

I understand the panic that comes with things like this but I'll echo others and say slow down, breathe and ask for help.

And start with your own family. When I have been down on my butt with an injured knee (last year) or out with the pain from the car accidents, my girls stepped right in. They are far younger than James is. He should be able to help make simple meals at this point (those baked potatoes and mac-n-cheese you mentioned). And there's no reason he (and all the boys) shouldn't be doing regular chores to help Mom & Dad out with the housework. It needed fall by the wayside because Pat's injured and you have to work. Even an only partially completed job due to lack of experience and knowledge is better than one not done at all.

Secondly, you don't have to rely on McDonald's. Do you have a freezer? Stock it with healthy TV dinners. It at least gives more variety and better nutrition than McDonald's. And I've seen many people offer food (of which I am hereby one) so that you can add that to the freezer/fridge/cupboard so you can all eat well.

Thirdly, reread sarahh's post. What she said is absolutely true. You, your injured wife and your children come first in this case. Yes, the job is mega-important and you are invaluable to them. But sometimes you have to step back and look at the family priority and say, "Nope, this one is really important, I need to get this done".

And no, Pat wasn't trying to do your NASA job for you when you were gone. But being a single parent isn't easy when there's no one to break you or give you emotional support. She's still present in the home and able to direct the boys to some degree. This is a doable thing. If nothing else, you'll gain a greater appreciation for single working parents who don't have that support, eh?

I'll try to fit in making something to send down with simplykimberly when she heads that way. This week is full up with two jobs, swim lessons, Abbie's ritual and a Lammas ritual, plus the landlady comes by on Saturday before the ritual so I need to make sure things are in good shape around here. But you've been there for me when you could so I'll be sure to send something along for all of you.

And if she has to have surgery, trust me, the community *will* pick up slack for you if you ask. It may not always seem like enough, but any help is good help.

*hugs*

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

You've got your hands overfull... I will hold things together here OK.

And the MRI results show some tears, but won't require surgery.

[geekchick]

won't require surgery

That's good news. I'd bet Pat was looking forward to the prospect of surgery even less than you were.