Dependence ==> loss of control -->vulnerability --> likelihood of getting hurt. Anything that requires dependence on others, on a personal level, is dangerous and unreliable.
[As an aside, this is why I usually make a lousy team member, work-wise -- I do much better as either a project leader or a lone-wolf researcher.]
Asking for *anything* for myself is a bad idea and to be avoided as much as possible. Not depending on others to defend their boundaries, but rather to pre-emptively defend them for those others (by staying far back from the boundaries).
And specifically, I acknowledge that several offers of help have been reiterated... I'm referring them to Pat at this point, so I don't have to be involved in that loop. Figuring that if she hadn't trashed her knee, I wouldn't be in this position anyway...
To survive, I have to be able to carry on without any love or support, because one never knows when those things will disappear.
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Date: 2005-08-07 06:15 pm (UTC)[As an aside, this is why I usually make a lousy team member, work-wise -- I do much better as either a project leader or a lone-wolf researcher.]
Asking for *anything* for myself is a bad idea and to be avoided as much as possible. Not depending on others to defend their boundaries, but rather to pre-emptively defend them for those others (by staying far back from the boundaries).
And specifically, I acknowledge that several offers of help have been reiterated... I'm referring them to Pat at this point, so I don't have to be involved in that loop. Figuring that if she hadn't trashed her knee, I wouldn't be in this position anyway...
To survive, I have to be able to carry on without any love or support, because one never knows when those things will disappear.