jay | alone, in pain, far from home... and out the other side :)

As I figure it, being hospitalized in a foreign country is perhaps the third-worst thing that can happen to a traveller (behind being killed or imprisoned). The language and cultural barriers become acute, and possibly critical given the consequences of misunderstandings.

However, I have only good things to say about the care I received at the Technischen Universitat Munchen hospital, a largish teaching hospital where I spent most of the past two days. There were enough English-speakers -- even if only a little -- that combined with my small amount of German, I got the care I needed, when I needed it.

While I thought it unusual regarding some assumptions, the Bavarians here seem to put much weight on personal competence and responsibility. Not much hand holding... while that could seem brusque at times, once I adjusted it was fast and efficient. No one wants to be seen as sloppy or cutting corners... not the medical student, or nurses, or even the janitorial staff. Going the little bit extra for tidyness or completion is, well, reassuring as an inmate of a medical institution.

And it felt a bit like being an inmate... neither my roommate and I spoke more than a few words of the other's language, but we held long conversations at times. There wasn't much else to do... no TV or online access, cellphone reserved for calls to work and insurance and to home, no English-language magazines or books in the kiosk downstairs. Lots of time for thought...when I wasn't too drugged on painkillers.

Monday morning I woke up with pain in my groin... thought it was perhaps a UTI, after I'd drunk a liter of weissbier at dinner the night before. Went to the conference and registered. Came back because I was uncomfortable... went back after taking painkillers, because my presentation was at 3:45pm. Made it, it was received well with private inquiries afterward. Then... around 6pm I was getting uncomfortable again, so I decided to walk back to the hotel. Walking had helped, before... this time, it intensified. Badly. By halfway, I knew that this had been a *bad* idea, and I was afraid I was just going to sink down and collapse on some sidewalk. I focussed two feet in front of me, and slowly walked back, trying to do Lamaze breathing meanwhile. Pale and sweating profusely. While I'd been resistant to the hassle of seeing a doctor in a foreign country... I knew that I needed help, now. So I told the hotel staff that I would try to rest... then nearly passed out from the pain in the up-elevator. Then called the desk and asked for a doctor. Two paramedics showed up in a few minutes, evaluated me there, and then half-carried me down, convulsing, into their ambulance. And on to the hospital.

There, things get blurry, as I was already on painkillers... even with three shots in the arm of Demerol and one of morphine, I was still writhing and moaning. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced... It got to the point of "please shoot me", half-joking, wishing I could just blank out somehow.

I managed to give my medical history to an English-speaking doctor, between spasms. I remember X-rays and an ultrasound and hearing "appendix", thinking dimly that I'd happily have them take it out NOW and send me back to the US if only it would make the pain stop. And I had to tell the X-ray technician that I had 100 euros to pay for the film, before he would proceed. But it wasn't my appendix. And I was admitted, and given ever-higher doses of painkillers until I finally numbed and fell asleep, around midnight. It was a hellish six hours. I had three more painkiller drips during the night -- they'd put in a stent, which I carried around until a few hours ago.

The next day, still groggy and sore, I was taken to a different area and left alone in a queue for more X-rays... together with differentiating agents, they seem to use X-rays more than I'm used to in US medicine. And ultrasound. Was yelled at by the X-ray technician because I was unable to void my bladder -- the painkillers had made it very difficult. Then,,, I had no idea how to get back to my room, or what to ask, as I did not know my wing or room number. So I sat outside the radiology office for over an hour, rather stoned and abandoned. Eventually I got up, started wandering in a search pattern, found a familiar area and was recognized by a nurse, who guided me back.

I had to pass urine through a sieve, every time, to catch any stone material... was told to drink a lot. Given more pain meds. Tried to converse. Taken to the hospital billing office, and asked to pay $5000 in cash or bank transfer. Stalled by giving a credit card that bounced, and (translated) saying that I needed to have it authorized by management (true). Found the downstairs kiosk. Drank free bottled mineral water. Tried to converse. My head cleared enough that I could call my insurance company and work and try to set up claims processing, or they wouldn't let me out.

It did not help that somehow I was deemed a vegetarian (my California license?) and hence given meals containing things like vegetable jello molds and broccoli. I lived off of rolls and yogurt. (Only today did someone show me what card I needed to turn in to get "normal" German hospital food). Meanwhile, my conference colleagues were at the Nymphenburg palace, having a banquet.

I tried to make one phone call (to

geekchick, because it was Tuesday and I was determined), then went to bed early.

Today... more ultrasound, tracing my urethra from the kidneys forward, looking for any stones (either in-progress or latent in the kidneys). None were found, as it had apparently broken up and passed into my bladder on Tuesday... pain had disappeared by evening. Then more blood tests... drawn from the back of my left hand by a student, now I have an inch-wide hematoma there that the doctor says is harmless but will turn strange colors over the next week. While emptying my bladder for the ultrasound (no painkillers :), I passed the stone. Which I dabbed up with a piece of paper, wrapped it and gave it to the nurses... who clapped and gave me thumbs-up. It was dark, about 2mm in diameter... hard to believe that something that small could cause so much pain.

Since there was no need for extraction, the projected bill shrank from 4300 to 930 euros...which I paid with my ATM card, thankfully. Shucks, if it had happened in the US, my deductibles and co-pays might have been nearly that much for a 2-night stay plus lots of tests and consultations...

So, today I was deemed cured, or finished with the episode, and released after lunch. :)

Feeling like my normal self again, even well-rested with lots of sleep...