a brief acting experiment

[jay]

As an experiment, for the next week before leaving town, I'm going to try to pretend that others actively seek my cooperation or collaboration... where the default is friendliness and cooperation. This means changing my operating parameters... default assumptions regarding others' motives away from threat-until-proved-friendly, and instead assuming that I can find something in common with almost everyone. Pretending that the world is not a dangerous place, inherently, and that I haven't been harmed and abused in the past, and that destructive things won't happen when conflicts arise between friends. Sort of an acting gig, for a week... I'll see in a week's time how much I fell out of sim, and whether being in-sim caused any personal interactions to divert from their usual patterns.

Comments

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you're going to be pretending to be me :-)

Remember to be alert, all the same. Presume the positive, but don't turn off your radar completely.

[hot-turkey.livejournal.com]

I'm happy to support this project, and I second the remarks about not turning off the radar 100%. Having said that, turning it down a whole bunch sounds to me like a great idea.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

sounds lovely, but also like a huge challenge to turn off all the defense-systems that you've installed over the years.

Is there some sort of support that you'd like with this project?

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a good experiment. I hope it goes well, and you feel good about the week when you're done.

*hugs*

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Coolness! Let me know if there are ways I can support you in being safe AND assuming the world is a friendly place. :^)

[karenbynight.livejournal.com]

That sounds to me like a great idea! Let me know of any way I can help.

[akienm.livejournal.com]

Well, I think say one is a success just from reading these responses. Keep it up!

[princeofwands.livejournal.com]

From personal experience, attempting to consciously change one's world view in this manner tends to be more successful if instead of couched in "pretending", it is framed as "asserting". Own the choice rather than playing at it. I think you'll find it both more successful, and more genuine feeling.

However you chose to play it out, I think this is a marvelous decision and I hope it works out splendidly for you.

I, too, would like to hear if there's anything in particular I can do to encourage this or make it easier on you.

[akienm.livejournal.com]

I concur. Couching it as playing and as an experiment was the best languaging I could come up with on Monday. But I think this is better.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

It sounds like a terrific experiment, except for the part about pretending things were different in the past. What happened happened, and you can change your thoughts about it, but you can't change it.

If you haven't read it, I'd love to recommend "The Art of Possibility" by the Zanders, particularly the chapters on giving an A and lighting a spark.

What is "sim"?

[akienm.livejournal.com]

Simulation.

The part about imagining a different past was because we couldn't come up with another way to frame the experiment that he could use as an acceptable model. When we couched it as an experimental simulation, and could change the past parameters, then it worked for him to try it out.

What do you think, BJay, Could this be an acceptable modification of the model?

[sebab.livejournal.com]

FWIW, every time I try this, it doesn't work 100%, but I am definitely rewarded amply. wish I could put on the act more often.

just smiling a lot at people seems to improve interactions a lot, let alone any actual acting.

[weirdodragoncat.livejournal.com]

Cool! Hope it works out well for you.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a really worthwhile thing to try. Let us know what sort of support we can give with it!

Where are you off to next week? Hugs...

[akienm.livejournal.com]

Any ideas yet on how we'll measure effectivness of the new model?

[simplykimberly.livejournal.com]

Good luck, that's a great experiment! I find life infinitely more enjoyable working under that sort of premise, and I hope you find it to be so, as well! ((hugs)) That's very brave of you to try something like this out - go you!