I was *so* wrong...

[jay]

Last Sunday I attended the Impact Women's Basics "graduation" in SF for tenacious_snail's class. Earlier, I'd been rather dubious, even wary that I'd somehow become a target myself in mundane situations. I was completely wrong! Those scenarios demonstrated are nothing like any consensual interactions, so far apart that I felt silly for my previous fears.

As well as sheepish regarding my earlier lackluster support of Les. She was strong, and competent, and dispatched her assailants with strength and determination. I was happy for her and proud to be there to watch. She rocked! :^)

Sunday, I felt nervous, going in... I knew it was highly likely to be traumatic and triggering for me, personally. I went anyway, to support my sweetie. As well as confronting a few inner demons of my own ... had flashbacks from past assaults, trembling. The "reversal" scenes were particularly triggering, and the shouting. At least none of the assailants carried a 2x4 club... (shudder). I was twitchy, and not breathing, and I'm grateful for inflectionpoint and klrmn for sitting on either side, holding my hand at times and reminding me to breathe. And yesterday, I crashed a bit afterwards.

But first and foremost, we were all there Sunday to cheer on these strong women, as they faced their fears and muggers on the mat. Yelling encouragement, and even coaching "there's an opening! Go for the eyes!", and cheering when they'd finish and flushed, would scan for status, stomp their foot and shout "NO!" Bravo to all of them, including my sweetie. And I'm going to add the organization to my CFC charity list for next year.

Comments

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Yay. It's a great organization. I do think you would benefit by doing one of their rare classes for men. They don't do them often, but they do them occasionally. I'd love to see you kick some butt out there, too. :^D

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

I'd love to see you kick some butt out there, too.

*Hugs* So would I.

Bravo to you for going to support and cheer Les despite how hard it was for you to be there!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

It's her accomplishment, and her wrestling and overcoming her fears, out there. That deserves lots of support. *hugs*

[grynz.livejournal.com]

Me three!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I'd be afraid to let out all of my anger and rage at an assailant, for fear I'd do real harm despite the protective gear. But maybe... no men's classes are currently listed, I checked their website yesterday.

information on a similar organization

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

I'd suggest contacting Impact directly, to see when they are planning their next men's session. It may be that they do them in response to demand. I'm pretty sure there are other men in our community who might be interested in doing this as well.

In the meantime, I'm posting here some info about a similar organization, called "KTF--Kidpower, Teenpower, Fullpower" (they're looking for a new name). I don't know whether they do the Michelin-man suits, so I don't know if it would be as useful to you as IMPACT. But they do self-defense classes for Men, Women and KIDS, and I know you were somewhat concerned about your sons as well. I'm sending only the contact info and the info about the upcoming classes for men (Feb. 26), and a couple for kids or families. They're nowhere near as comprehensive, but might be a good starting place for your kids, and for you if Impact won't be doing a men's class for a while.


KTF International E-Newsletter
A service of KIDPOWER TEENPOWER FULLPOWER (KTF) International
January 2006 California Edition

Personal Safety, Confidence, Advocacy and Self Protection Skills
for All Ages and Abilities


~ ~ ~ ~

FULLPOWER INTRODUCTORY FULL FORCE
WORKSHOP FOR WOMEN AND MEN

=BERKELEY: Thursday, January 12, 6:30 - 10:00, Women and Men
=PALO ALTO: Sunday, February 26, 5:00 pm - 8:30 pm, Women and Men

Adults learn to protect themselves from confrontations and simulated
assaults, both verbal and physical, in a safe, empowering environment.

~ ~ ~ ~

KIDPOWER PARENT-CHILD WORKSHOP FOR
CHILDREN AGES 4 to 8

=BERKELEY: Saturday, March 11, 2:00 - 4:00 pm
=PALO ALTO: Saturday, February 4, 10:00 am - 12:00 pm
=SANTA CRUZ: Saturday, February 25th, 10:00 am - 12:00 pm and 1:00 pm - 3:00 pm, co-sponsored by the Santa Cruz Police Department. Free to Santa Cruz County residents thanks to funding from local businesses.

Children have fun learning and practicing everyday safety skills with their parents or guardians. Safety skills are taught about strangers, bullies, and people children know.

~ ~ ~ ~

WEEKEND FAMILY WORKSHOP FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
AGES 6-14

=PALO ALTO: Friday, March 10, 6:30 pm - 9:30 pm, Parents Only; Sat and Sun, March 11 and 12, 9:00 am - 1:00 pm; Sunday, March 12, 12:00 pm - 1:00 pm, Demo for Adults
=BERKELEY: Friday, March 10, 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm, Parents Only; Sat and Sun, March 11 and 12, 9:00 am - 1:00 pm; Sunday, January 29, 12:00 pm - 1:00 pm, Demo for Adults

Comprehensive program including everyday safety skills and full force self-defense for young people ages 6-14. Educational session for parents and other concerned adults helps establish a common language to continue the skills at home.

~ ~ ~ ~

8. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION
Main Office: 831-426-4407 (USA 1-800-467-6997)
safety@kidpower.org, http://www.kidpower.org/
International Centers:
http://www.kidpower.org/contact-us.html/

COPYRIGHT NOTICE. All articles in this newsletter are copyrighted to KIDPOWER TEENPOWER FULLPOWER International and to the author. Unless otherwise indicated, the author is Executive Director/Co-Founder Irene van der Zande.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

KIDPOWER CONTACT INFORMATION:

Website: http://www.kidpower.org

KIDPOWER TEENPOWER FULLPOWER Main Office:
1-800-467-6997 in USA
(0) 1 -831-426-4407
FAX (0) 1-831-426-4480
P.O. Box 1212
Santa Cruz, CA 95061
USA
safety@kidpower.org

East Bay KIDPOWER: eastbay@kidpower.org
P.O. Box 2163
Castro Valley, CA 94546
510-881-2262

South Bay KIDPOWER: southbay@kidpower.org
P.O. Box 3683
Santa Clara, CA 95055
408-445-2742

PO Box 1212
Santa Cruz, California 95061
United States

[grynz.livejournal.com]

I'd be afraid to let out all of my anger and rage at an assailant, for fear I'd do real harm despite the protective gear.

I understand this fear, I have it as well. It is one of the reasons I stopped taking martial arts when I was a kid - I didn't want to hurt anyone, and they didn't have the benifit of the padding.

It was pointed out to me though, that these people 1) have the padding, 2) have the training, and 3) are dealing on a regular basis with people who have built up rage, anger, panic, etc. They know what to expect. If you decide, as per Dawnd's suggestion, that you want to try and get a mens group together to increase the likelyhood of a class, I'm happy to help put out the word.

*hugs* I'm glad you were able to be supportive, and recieve the support in return.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hm... part of what halts me is that because of some of these past issues, I reflexively mistrust other men, have few male friends, and don't tend to socialize with men's groups (official or unofficial). So putting together a men's group myself would be almost as much challenge as taking the course...

*hug* thanks.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

The last men's class was filled from the waiting list before it was ever announced to the public. I'd go ahead and call Cassandra in the office.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

It was wonderful to have you there, and have you see me being strong and powerful and competent, and to appreciate those parts of me, too. The reversals are definitely hard to do, and being *able* to do them is immensely healing.

*snuggles*

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I've noticed a change in you, just in the past four weeks. Lots of growth and healing as well. Yay! *snuggle*

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

Growth. Not always linear. Bah!

You know, I always feel warm and cozy inside when I see this icon. It has one of my favorite Jay-smiles.

[archway.livejournal.com]

(Totally off subject: Thank you for the rose!~BG~)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

~g~ you're welcome.

[simplykimberly.livejournal.com]

((hugs)) and good on you for recognizing all that you recognized about tenacious_snail and the class, and just everything! It is just the kind of thing it's wonderful to find out (generic) you were wrong about, isn't it? :)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(nods) Better that I was wrong about those things.

[inflectionpoint.livejournal.com]

I'm very very very glad you were there, I know that your support meant a lot to Les, and probably to women in the class that you don't know and might not ever know. It was a good gift and support to offer and I am glad that you did.

I hope that you can find a chance to take one of the men's classes, and I would like to talk with you one on one at some point about your fear of harming an instructor stopping you from doing so. I understand that fear, but would like to offer you a view of the other side... on the other side of that fear is some amazing stuff.

And I have some opinions about where that fear may come from and who might have been motivated to put that fear into you. Often, people who try to make survivors feel worried about "hurting others" are the people who hurt us in the first place. This allows the people who actually did hurt us to keep right on doing it without having to worry about encountering a strong and strongwilled defense. And, time and energy that I spend agonizing over whether or not I might hurt someone while training in self defense are time that I don't have available to me to either be training in self defense, or doing other good things with my life.

I have chosen to get over that fear, myself. I worked very hard to do so, and can still remember my first karate classes and being horrified at the thought that I was there, that I had paid good money to be there and to look someone in the eye, line up a shot, and take it. And make it the best and hardest shot I could. It took time to get over that, and I did.

I will say that seriously committing to fighting back, and to meaning that I will defend my life and my safety as if they REALLY mattered has made me socially unacceptable in some places. Seriously committing to fighting back can make people uncomfortable, or scared. Strange that, because if people want to be uncomfortable or troubled or scared, I'd rather that they put that fear and discomfort on the people who start the problems and not on the survivors who are fighting back, or just speaking the truth about what happened.

It has taken me years to say, "My life and my quality of life matter. And I mean it." And it has been so worth it. I would hope that we can talk about this, I would like to offer you a view from the other side. I have found it to be messy, inconvenient, and sometimes lonely over here, but the other side of things is... I get my life back. All of it. And the right to defend it and the right to be outraged when someone tries to threaten it. What a precious thing, and I only wish that it were inalienable.

I am so very glad you were there, and hope that you will be there for me when I take the training myself. Hugs to you!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I don't know about the men's classes... they seem hard to find or set up.

Thanks for sharing how hard it was to get over that fear. And I want to be there for you likewise when you take the training yourself. (hug)