First dim sum experience...
Yesterday, ![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
patgreene and tenacious_snail and I drove to San Leandro and joined a group for dim sum, organized by serenejourrnal in honor of visiting friends elissaann and J.
This was a new experience for me... sort of like Chinese tapas, it seemed, lots of small dishes shared. But it was awkward for me. I didn't know what things were, and (given a mushroom-allergy incident the day before with some airline food) I was cautious.
And... I didn't want to infringe on what might be someone else's favorite dish, so when I something arrived that I thought looked good, I waited until after it had been passed around... at which point most of them were gone. At the same time, given that the costs were pooled and divided equally, I was reluctant to impose my food preferences on others -- what if I was the only person who liked a given dish I'd ordered? Then my fellow diners would be effectively buying it just for me, and I felt uncomfortable doing that. So I didn't order anything. I just waited and hoped that something edible would show up, and not be all gone by the time it got around to me.
So... I didn't eat much. An hour into the meal, I still hadn't gotten anything yet. Finally,tenacious_snail noticed that my napkin was still on my plate, and poked me until I finally indicated some things I'd like, which she then sent out with others' orders. (This dim sum establishment did not have pushcarts, which are apparently used elsewhere.) So these arrived, I got some of them first-off, and thence got a few bites in. However, by then everyone else was finishing up, and we all left 15 minutes later, so I left the table a bit frustrated and still hungry. And I paid a full share of the divided cost, if only for "seat rental" and to be a good sport.
So... I think I like tapas better. At least there we explicitly take turns, there's more structure and I don't have to choose between being direct and grabby, or being hungry...
patgreene and tenacious_snail and I drove to San Leandro and joined a group for dim sum, organized by serenejourrnal in honor of visiting friends elissaann and J. This was a new experience for me... sort of like Chinese tapas, it seemed, lots of small dishes shared. But it was awkward for me. I didn't know what things were, and (given a mushroom-allergy incident the day before with some airline food) I was cautious.
And... I didn't want to infringe on what might be someone else's favorite dish, so when I something arrived that I thought looked good, I waited until after it had been passed around... at which point most of them were gone. At the same time, given that the costs were pooled and divided equally, I was reluctant to impose my food preferences on others -- what if I was the only person who liked a given dish I'd ordered? Then my fellow diners would be effectively buying it just for me, and I felt uncomfortable doing that. So I didn't order anything. I just waited and hoped that something edible would show up, and not be all gone by the time it got around to me.
So... I didn't eat much. An hour into the meal, I still hadn't gotten anything yet. Finally,
tenacious_snail noticed that my napkin was still on my plate, and poked me until I finally indicated some things I'd like, which she then sent out with others' orders. (This dim sum establishment did not have pushcarts, which are apparently used elsewhere.) So these arrived, I got some of them first-off, and thence got a few bites in. However, by then everyone else was finishing up, and we all left 15 minutes later, so I left the table a bit frustrated and still hungry. And I paid a full share of the divided cost, if only for "seat rental" and to be a good sport. So... I think I like tapas better. At least there we explicitly take turns, there's more structure and I don't have to choose between being direct and grabby, or being hungry...
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Have you ever been in a social situation where you were a little freaked out, and not only could you not ask, but you couldn't hear anything said to you?
I have. It's unpleasant. It's nobody's fault.
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