And it is almost always a pleasure to spend time with you. :) I'm glad to have had a chance to see Akien too, it had been awhile.
Choosing-wise... I'm cautious about boundaries. In a workshop, I would have the benefit of chill space beforehand as well as an opening puja-like exercise that is good as a way to assess who is, and isn't, open to me... given eye contact and body language. Within those with whom I feel open and comfortable, at the last couple of workshops I've started proactively choosing and asking. Hearing "no" has happened more often than not, but that's OK.
But at these short events, I have no chance to "read" the group and figure out likely candidates to approach later to suggest doing an exercise. Long-time participants all know each other and tend to glom together rather than picking/being picked by newcomers... unlike, say, contra dancing I've attended, where veterans often make a point of asking newcomers for a dance.
And while rationally (and today) I know that it isn't about my self-worth, *in that moment* it feels like I'm worthless and unwanted, even though some other part of my brain is telling me that that's silly. One difference from a few years ago. :)
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Date: 2006-10-24 10:57 pm (UTC)And it is almost always a pleasure to spend time with you. :) I'm glad to have had a chance to see Akien too, it had been awhile.
Choosing-wise... I'm cautious about boundaries. In a workshop, I would have the benefit of chill space beforehand as well as an opening puja-like exercise that is good as a way to assess who is, and isn't, open to me... given eye contact and body language. Within those with whom I feel open and comfortable, at the last couple of workshops I've started proactively choosing and asking. Hearing "no" has happened more often than not, but that's OK.
But at these short events, I have no chance to "read" the group and figure out likely candidates to approach later to suggest doing an exercise. Long-time participants all know each other and tend to glom together rather than picking/being picked by newcomers... unlike, say, contra dancing I've attended, where veterans often make a point of asking newcomers for a dance.
And while rationally (and today) I know that it isn't about my self-worth, *in that moment* it feels like I'm worthless and unwanted, even though some other part of my brain is telling me that that's silly. One difference from a few years ago. :)