A strange feeling...

[jay]

A sweetie of mine today sent me an email. "...since you don't like to ask for help, I thought I'd ask for some as a way to generate ideas."

And she posted a question. And received a warm and supportive response, from her friends, who naturally assumed that it was something of concern to her. And there were, in fact, some useful ideas there for me.

It's a strange feeling watching the difference in responses over there, though, compared to the kinds of responses, or lack thereof, over here when I ask for advice. I can't help but wonder how it would have been different if I'd directly posted exactly the same question in my own journal. Some people would not have replied, certainly. Others I feel would have been less likely to offer their comments or help. And there's a nagging feeling that I would have been somehow "made to be wrong" or criticized if I'd opened myself up in exactly the same way.

Still, this was a loving and supportive act on my sweetie's part, even if I feel a bit sheepish... would these people have been as helpful if they'd known?

Comments

[uncledark.livejournal.com]

If I had known, I would have been more likely to reply.

I would have said something like, When I'm feeling down and insecure, I need to get out of the house, talk to people who aren't in my regular circuit. I find that positive interactions with total strangers are more reassuring than with folks I know. Folks I know have a vested interest in being nice to me, strangers don't.

I have some thoughts on why there might seem to be differences in reactions. If you're interested, let me know.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I'm interested in your thoughts and perspectives, yes, and would appreciate the help of a somewhat-outside perspective. Thanks for the offer.