A strange feeling...
Mar. 4th, 2008 04:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jayA sweetie of mine today sent me an email. "...since you don't like to ask for help, I thought I'd ask for some as a way to generate ideas."
And she posted a question. And received a warm and supportive response, from her friends, who naturally assumed that it was something of concern to her. And there were, in fact, some useful ideas there for me.
It's a strange feeling watching the difference in responses over there, though, compared to the kinds of responses, or lack thereof, over here when I ask for advice. I can't help but wonder how it would have been different if I'd directly posted exactly the same question in my own journal. Some people would not have replied, certainly. Others I feel would have been less likely to offer their comments or help. And there's a nagging feeling that I would have been somehow "made to be wrong" or criticized if I'd opened myself up in exactly the same way.
Still, this was a loving and supportive act on my sweetie's part, even if I feel a bit sheepish... would these people have been as helpful if they'd known?
And she posted a question. And received a warm and supportive response, from her friends, who naturally assumed that it was something of concern to her. And there were, in fact, some useful ideas there for me.
It's a strange feeling watching the difference in responses over there, though, compared to the kinds of responses, or lack thereof, over here when I ask for advice. I can't help but wonder how it would have been different if I'd directly posted exactly the same question in my own journal. Some people would not have replied, certainly. Others I feel would have been less likely to offer their comments or help. And there's a nagging feeling that I would have been somehow "made to be wrong" or criticized if I'd opened myself up in exactly the same way.
Still, this was a loving and supportive act on my sweetie's part, even if I feel a bit sheepish... would these people have been as helpful if they'd known?
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-07 06:41 pm (UTC)Whether that's a problem with my presentation, my advice, or the recipient's interest level doesn't really matter in the long run. Life is busy, and so I eventually optimize actions that don't appear to have useful results into non-action.
no subject
Date: 2008-03-07 08:03 pm (UTC)It's useful feedback... not only as a data point, but also confirming that when I really do want help or advice, I'll likely get better and more diverse replies by asking indirectly through someone else (as in this case) rather than by asking directly.
Doing so indirectly won't change opinions regarding my using those results, granted, since respondents wouldn't know that I'm the one asking. But it would still help me out, at times, which is what I'm seeking.