jay: (sunglasses)
jay ([personal profile] jay) wrote2002-10-07 12:06 pm

Not into body modifications...

A comment on [livejournal.com profile] mactavish's LJ jogged a discussion I recently had with [livejournal.com profile] geekchick about body modifications, such as piercings, scarification and tattoos. Generally, I find them to be turn-offs... I have damage-assessment-filters that tend to react to the presence of these in another person as impairments, not assertions of indivduality, symbolism or artwork. For example, my subconscious interprets piercings as "impaled splinter , thorn or twig" (like someone that fell into a hedge, say) and hence body damage in the person sporting them.

Just as it interprets tattoos as "large mole or skin disease", from a distance... once I get close enough to someone to see design details, conscious thought takes over and I may admire a pretty design, symbolism or novel placement. But even then, I often find myself averting my gaze from the tattoo in subsequent interactions with that person... rather like trying to not stare at a Gorbachevian forehead splotch.
firecat: damiel from wings of desire tasting blood on his fingers. text "i has a flavor!" (Default)

[personal profile] firecat 2002-10-07 04:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Would it be visible if I were sitting across a table, chatting with that person? If it is hidden damage, I don't react to it.

What happens when you get into bed with someone who has, say, stretch marks that aren't visible when they're clothed? Is that a turn off? Or do you not care by that point?

Disablements haven't been an issue, per se, although I'm more likely to view that person initially as a potential friend-in-need rather than a possible playmate.

Does this also apply to visually obvious disabilities only (such as being in a wheelchair) or also to invisible disabilities (e.g., heart condition)?

I like tattoos, and I like the way piercings look, but I don't like playing with them.

[identity profile] brian1789.livejournal.com 2002-10-10 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
What happens when you get into bed with someone who has, say, stretch marks that aren't visible when they're clothed? Is that a turn off? Or do you not care by that point?

The latter... by the time I'm getting into bed with someone, I know them, and are presumably attracted by their personal qualities... initial view-at-a-distance filters are secondary effects by then.

Besides, I've never been to bed with anyone that *didn't* have hidden stretch marks! I expect them... I have yet to date anyone smaller than a size 18... not because of a BBW preference, it has just happened that way.