Feeling stuck in kind of a rut?

[jay]

I need to explore or find something different in my life... too much in the past couple of months (outside of work) has been quiet and dull. Lots of time on weekends spent cleaning and repairing and building things at home... granted, there's been a couple of years of deferred maintenance, but I miss going out and doing the occasional frivolous or recreational activity, or seeing friends. Or even doing activities with the kids... it has been three months of much work and little play. And being both the primary earner and able-bodied adult around the house leaves me often sliding into doing more caretaking than I'd wish.

The breaks, for me, have been travel... I'm really looking forward to going to Minneapolis in two weeks for the weekend for my 10th anniversary with Nancy. Or two weeks ago, when I went to DC a day early so I could spend all day Sunday with geekchick before my business Monday morning. Or going to Atlanta on business in December. I've held these out to myself as carrots and motivators... the problem with this is that it then sets my hopes and expectations really high, which can cause me to crash emotionally if everything isn't sparkly and fun when I visit for the weekend. Which in turn places an undue burden on my out-of-town partners and friends and family. They can't, alone, be my escape-valve or the spice in my life.

I'm really not much of a homebody, or happy retreating to a nest. I could be comfortable spending half my time on the road somewhere. And I don't watch DVDs, movies or TV, and rarely read anymore for pleasure, so there's not much to do at home *except* clean, cook or work on household projects. Except playing with the kids or cats? Any suggestions?

Comments

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Everyone who lives at your house (kids included) has a responsibility to help maintain it. You don't have to be the only caretaker, sweetness.

The kids have chores that they do routinely, such as dish-washing, recycling, table-clearing, litter-box, and taking out the trash. The other adults also contribute to house upkeep, most often with laundry, tidying, grocery-shopping, and corralling the kids into extra tidying ;-)

One of the troubles we've recently identified is that not all of the house regions are assigned as chores... and so it's been nobody's job to tidy the living room (where everyone's clutter gets left) or to wipe the kitchen counters (where food prep items get left). That leads to big weekend tidying crunches, which takes away from the fun stuff. So, we're working on a new list of additional chores for the kids, that they can earn some more allowance money on, and that will hopefully keep the house in steadier good shape.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Housework. It's the subject of the most difficult, emotionally fraught, and logistically complicated discussions in every poly household I've ever known. Money is right up there, too. Sex is a long way back.

People who think poly is a nonstop orgy should really sit in on a family meeting about determining an acceptable level of neatness and cleanliness in a kitchen.