Feeling stuck in kind of a rut?

[jay]

I need to explore or find something different in my life... too much in the past couple of months (outside of work) has been quiet and dull. Lots of time on weekends spent cleaning and repairing and building things at home... granted, there's been a couple of years of deferred maintenance, but I miss going out and doing the occasional frivolous or recreational activity, or seeing friends. Or even doing activities with the kids... it has been three months of much work and little play. And being both the primary earner and able-bodied adult around the house leaves me often sliding into doing more caretaking than I'd wish.

The breaks, for me, have been travel... I'm really looking forward to going to Minneapolis in two weeks for the weekend for my 10th anniversary with Nancy. Or two weeks ago, when I went to DC a day early so I could spend all day Sunday with geekchick before my business Monday morning. Or going to Atlanta on business in December. I've held these out to myself as carrots and motivators... the problem with this is that it then sets my hopes and expectations really high, which can cause me to crash emotionally if everything isn't sparkly and fun when I visit for the weekend. Which in turn places an undue burden on my out-of-town partners and friends and family. They can't, alone, be my escape-valve or the spice in my life.

I'm really not much of a homebody, or happy retreating to a nest. I could be comfortable spending half my time on the road somewhere. And I don't watch DVDs, movies or TV, and rarely read anymore for pleasure, so there's not much to do at home *except* clean, cook or work on household projects. Except playing with the kids or cats? Any suggestions?

Comments

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Akien and I are having issues that sound somewhat similar to this. There's a balance point to be found somewhere between "I'm doing this, and you can lump it if you don't like it," and the other extreme of "Honey, may I have permission to go get a cup of coffee?"

Have you already tried having each person have a "day" that's "theirs," that they get to do whatever they want, without discussing it with the others in advance--or at all?