(nods) I know that I'm talented, accomplished, have left my own small imprint on the world, create weird stuff, have explored and named geographical features, have great friends, am fitter and trimmer than average for my age group, am brighter than most everyone and can do almost anything I turn my hand towards. I can fly a plane, have travelled widely and know astronauts and Nobel laureates. I've saved a life, can ice-dance, and helped raise three bright, high-energy boys, two of whom have special needs. There are papers and patents and honors and various degrees plastered over my office wall. Dry humor. Compassion. Ethics. At some level, I know I'm pretty hot stuff, so to speak...
But nonetheless, in social or family situations my underlying emotional programming is "I'm not deserving of this person's time and attention", let alone love and affection. Asking for anything becomes very hard... I tell myself that I should be content, and not bothersome or dependent. Sigh...
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Date: 2003-01-29 01:00 am (UTC)But nonetheless, in social or family situations my underlying emotional programming is "I'm not deserving of this person's time and attention", let alone love and affection. Asking for anything becomes very hard... I tell myself that I should be content, and not bothersome or dependent. Sigh...