dimly lit, but nice
Jun. 22nd, 2003 01:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jayThis evening, after a bit of friction with patgreene, I went up to House Dreamland's housewarming party around 10pm... it was a party. Pretty good, a bit crowded, lots of people I'd never met or only seen once or twice. My soon-to-be boss at work, RD was also there (invited by hopeforyou... he knew no one else there besides her and I, so I talked with him much of the time. To the exclusion of several other people with whom I would have liked to spend more time, granted, but I felt that I needed to be responsible and welcoming where RD was concerned (and hopeforyou was too busy hostessing).
But I nonetheless got a chance to have a nice talk withcharlottesmtms, probably longer than if I'd gone to tomorrow's brunch. And my housewarming gifts seem to have been put to good use. And I should find a way to see brooksmoses more often... however, rosemom wasn't there tonight, pity.
OTOH,rosefox looked beautiful and stylish in her long black dress (another LBD ;)! circusscreamer had a lovely scarf woven through her hair, and she and bikerscum and karenbynight and others were exchanging clothing outfits for awhile... I have a photo *).
There was a power outage at one point... people who were there with a partner or two could cuddle in the dim candlelight. Which diminishes conversation, at least verbal... less fun for the non-partnered, but that's our problem. I actually left the party feeling a bit touch-deprived...
Which reminds me that I don't know the etiquette for dealing with puppy piles at parties, as a general issue. Do I pretend that they aren't there and look through them? Try to avoid glancing in their given direction? Or smile and make vaguely salacious remarks in their general direction? What if the pile includes people I'm otherwise friends with? I don't know whether I should respect their privacy (even on the floor at a gathering) and not officially recognize them as present... or pretend that nothing is going on, and try to chat with them while standing at the edge and looking downwards. It isn't an easy situation, IMO...
patgreene, I went up to House Dreamland's housewarming party around 10pm... it was a party. Pretty good, a bit crowded, lots of people I'd never met or only seen once or twice. My soon-to-be boss at work, RD was also there (invited by hopeforyou... he knew no one else there besides her and I, so I talked with him much of the time. To the exclusion of several other people with whom I would have liked to spend more time, granted, but I felt that I needed to be responsible and welcoming where RD was concerned (and hopeforyou was too busy hostessing). But I nonetheless got a chance to have a nice talk with
charlottesmtms, probably longer than if I'd gone to tomorrow's brunch. And my housewarming gifts seem to have been put to good use. And I should find a way to see brooksmoses more often... however, rosemom wasn't there tonight, pity. OTOH,
rosefox looked beautiful and stylish in her long black dress (another LBD ;)! circusscreamer had a lovely scarf woven through her hair, and she and bikerscum and karenbynight and others were exchanging clothing outfits for awhile... I have a photo *).There was a power outage at one point... people who were there with a partner or two could cuddle in the dim candlelight. Which diminishes conversation, at least verbal... less fun for the non-partnered, but that's our problem. I actually left the party feeling a bit touch-deprived...
Which reminds me that I don't know the etiquette for dealing with puppy piles at parties, as a general issue. Do I pretend that they aren't there and look through them? Try to avoid glancing in their given direction? Or smile and make vaguely salacious remarks in their general direction? What if the pile includes people I'm otherwise friends with? I don't know whether I should respect their privacy (even on the floor at a gathering) and not officially recognize them as present... or pretend that nothing is going on, and try to chat with them while standing at the edge and looking downwards. It isn't an easy situation, IMO...
no subject
Date: 2003-06-23 10:48 pm (UTC)[passionate kissing as performance art]
That left me in a context bind... to watch (performance art) or ignore them (privacy)? It was uncomfortable for me, in that setting.
For me, it's in some ways a learned skill not to find it uncomfortable. And still takes a conscious realigning of my initial reaction, sometimes.
[touch-interacting to small extents]
Okay, but that's a foreign reference for me... I don't know what that means, in a group setting. Only one-on-one. Unless one counts being crammmed into subway cars with one's face pushed into a stranger's back, that sort of thing.
I think possibly a more common example (and one that doesn't require polyamory) is two people sitting snuggled up together reading separate books. Although that still may be a foreign reference; I dunno.
[touching as distraction]
Hmm... I find touch distracting to a conversation, when I'm talking to someone. I feel like I'm not getting their full attention... there wasn't much, if anything overtly sexual going on, kisses aside, but just the existence of touching had a dampening effect on any conversing with the touchees.
Again, I suspect this may be something that involves (or has involved) conscious thought-realignment on my part. But it also depends on what touching is going on; some of it involves focus, while some of it's just absent-minded hand motions -- it's more the latter that tend to not really be interruptions to attention.
(cont.)
no subject
Date: 2003-06-24 07:54 am (UTC)How did you learn it? It isn't as though there are guides or lessons... sigh.
two people sitting snuggled up together reading separate books
If the other person is a stranger or just-friends, that's also a foreign reference. But I have snuggled up while reading, next to a partner (someone that I know is okay with having me in close proximity ;). If I don't already know that a priori, I'm reluctant to sit down in proximity to the other person, even to read.
just absent-minded hand motions
True, these may not be consuming more than a few percent of that person's attention... but they're visually a distraction while I'm trying to talk with that person, so my attention is also partially deflected.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-28 05:53 pm (UTC)It's not really the sort of learning that one needs a lesson for, I think; for me, it's just a matter of consciously reminding myself not to be uncomfortable (and reminding myself that the people involved aren't expecting privacy) when I'm someplace where people are being demonstrative that way. After many repetitions, it becomes more internalized.
In other words: practice, practice, practice.