As an aside

[jay]

If getting laid was a priority of mine, I wouldn't dare to voice public opinions that I know might alienate some potential (or even current) partners...

If you're wondering what I'm talking about, it isn't worth your time...

Comments

Re: Plain truth

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

"Look how smart I am that I've figured out my strategies! Now it's up to you to change your behaviour to accommodate them."

Which isn't just... not fair to them, granted.

At the same time, when confronted with hostile groups, the "I'll beat myself up so you'll all lose interest and move on to more amusing prey" tactic still works in some situations. It is/was a schoolyard survival measure... and hence is bonded to some very deep reactions. Hard to eradicate those when I can't figure out what to put in their place... try to trash the other side instead? Run away? Seem to ignore it while quietly plotting revenge? Those responses are not self-abusive, but I'm not sure that they make me a better or more interesting person.

need a little guidance on the second half.

I used to have a therapist, actually, up until a year ago. I was authorized for counselling originally because of nominal low-level anxiety when things were at their worst between myself and patgreene. After two years, I was told that I could no longer be seen... I was "one of the most functional people we've met", "You have social issues, but they fall into the category of self-improvement, not mental illness," and "Without a parity diagnosis, which you don't have, your insurance will no longer cover further visits." I was told that I was still welcome to schedule further visits -- at $180 out-of-pocket weekly. Not having an extra $10K/year to spend on it, I dropped further counselling at that point.

Not that I couldn't use some guidance on the second half... but, at least in the US, getting it is prohibitively expensive. So I rely on informal feedback, discussions with friends, and contemplation.

you're explaining how lousy a time you had at an event after having refrained from mentioning this while it was going on

Ah... but in that case, complaining at the event might offend my hosts and seem ungrateful. While typically the hosts won't notice or be pointed to read my online venting afterward, especially if I'm not blaming them.

avoid your entire journal in case I might run into one

Hmmm... would some kind of drama/personal-musings-filter help?

why I stick around, albeit at a safe distance

Which I greatly appreciate. Apart from missing you as a person if you left, a good editor (or external reviewer) is precious ;-).