Brian's Etiquette Guide

[jay]

Or, where worlds collide...

For the edification of readers, friends and passers-by:

I say "sir" and "ma'am" quite often in public conversation. Often to folks socially distant, like supermarket cashiers, ticket agents, or people I've just met.
I may avert my glance downward to avoid staring at something, like a revealing outfit or a strategic ketchup stain.
I often hold doors for people, especially those carrying things, and women in general.
Likewise with giving up subway seats.
I'm happy to be hospitable, because it's an icebreaker. I like to do nice things for my friends.
I bring friends drinks at parties, if I'm going by the drink table.
I don't generally make the first move toward people whom I find attractive, even crush-objects.

*None* of these behaviors means that I'm trying to sub to the recipient. For example, if I'm at a party, and I avert my glance, answer "sure, ma'am!" and I later bring you a drink, all it means is that I've just met you and your bra strap is showing... those people that pay attention to such things, be forewarned. Low-key and polite doesn't mean I don't prefer to be in charge of other things, in other contexts... and scarcely anyone will see that other side of me.

Comments

[dancing-star.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you have manners, the form of manners I keep trying to teach my own son.

If you go and read most manner books everything you listed use to be taught to young men, and not to long ago. Also Opening and closing car doors, offering your hand to help a lady!

I actually expect my daughters to learn some of the above also.

It always amazes me when my son gets growled at for being polite, or when an older person comments that it is nice to see a boy learning the lost arts! Manners shouldn't be lost!

It also surprizes me how many people will walk through a door being held open, and never say thank you, or take it so the person holding it can rejoin there party.

[elorie.livejournal.com]

**blink**

**blink**

There is another way to interpret your behavior? Other than just being polite?

Um. Perhaps I don't want it explained....

[lizw.livejournal.com]

I think all of those are lovely customs, except not making the first move, which I think is a personal preference (with obvious problems when common to two mutually-attracted people) ;-)

[archway.livejournal.com]

~purrrrsssss~ Those behaviors/characteristics probably had a hand in keeping you well and happily married for twenty years. Those habits show you are a "keeper" in most people's minds. Congratulations. Throw in a great...er....bedside manner and you are a dream dude!~W~

Brian's Etiquette Guide

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

I appreciate your Etiquette Guide. Generally speaking when I am with you I feel respected and appreciated. And when you open the door I get to pass close by you. Giggle. Hugs t

[who-is-she.livejournal.com]

I know whatcha mean Brian. When I am at the dojo kicking some poor yellow belt in the groin and stomach repeatedly, it doesn't mean I'm dominating them either. In fact, the guys laugh at me.. becuase every time a punch or kick actually HITS, I cringe and say "Sorry!".
We all explore a variety of social behaviors, that gives us range, but does not define us.

"Low-key and polite doesn't mean I don't prefer to be in charge of other things, in other contexts... and scarcely anyone will see that other side of me."

They are the lucky few! The rest of us have to miss out!